A Growing Love

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I do find myself thinking a lot about Love. I love love. I love romantic movies, I love romantic songs, I love love poems, I love weddings … I love helping people with their love issues. I find it so fascinating this whole love thing that happens between two people. And the question that I am asked so often is in reference to making love last a life-time. And there are no easy answers of course! But I will take a stab at it.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

What typically draws us to a person is some physical attraction. We like someone’s body, or how they are dressed, or some specific part of their body, eyes, lips, hair, tush, their smile, etc.   Or we may love their way, say for example if they are successful, or wealthy, etc. For example you may find someone sexy, and you are attracted to the sexiness you feel from them. And sometimes you are attracted to something and you can’t quit put your finger on it, there is just some magnetism that is pulling you toward someone. You just are attracted to them, and you aren't even sure why, but you are. And then from there it has the potential to grow into a real relationship. But that initial attraction is not something that you can build a life-long relationship on, even though in the movies they portray you can. Now, it can be a great start for sure! When I first laid eyes on my wife I was very hot and bothered (is that okay to say?) and still do this day some 20 years later I am!

I am sure there is someone reading this blog and thinking, “well I was all hot and bothered when I met my X too, and now it’s over.” And that is why I say that, “hot and bothered” is not the key! It does play a role in the beginning, but often only a small role in the initial pursuit, but creating a life-long love relationship takes a lot more.

Typically when you meet someone there is that initial attraction and from there love can either grow into something really special or begin to die a painful slow death. That’s why you often hear ‘friends’ say, “We grew to love each other.” And this can even happen without the initial attraction. There are so many factors in that initial attraction phase. Where we are, where they are, and not just physical location, but emotionally, and spiritually. So basically given the right situation, with the right person, and the right time you may not have that initial attraction, but change the surrounding situations and maybe you would have that initial attraction. Make sense?

LOVE CAN GROW

I am a firm believer that just like a lawn (grass) can grow healthier over time IF we put the right things in; it’s the same for love. It can, and will, grow IF we are putting the right things in. Now, I am making the assumption that BOTH people are putting the right stuff in … one person can’t carry a relationship forever, they will eventually wear out and give up. It’s just too hard to do alone. It takes two!

Let me throw a little disclaimer in here – If you are single and dating someone and finding it difficult for the love to grow, it may mean they are NOT the right one for you, that’s why it’s so difficult. And you may want to cut your losses and move on. And on the other hand if you are married and it’s difficult for the love to grow, I highly recommend you do everything you can to pour into that love relationship to increase its chances of growing again. I mean you obviously had enough love there to marry this person, surely you can find that love again? And nurture it! Don’t-cha think? I do.  I realize that many times love is so lost that it’s hard, if not impossible to ‘find it’ again, but I feel it is worth a shot.

No love relationship is without their challenge, that’s just life. And anyone who tells you different is either lying or they actually live in separate houses and their only married on paper. Ha ha! But seriously, love (marriage) is tough at times, we just gotta be tougher!

TO MY SINGLE FRIENDS


I believe the more we obsess over “finding the right person” we miss it. We miss the forest amongst the trees. Just enjoy life; love will come your way, eventually. I think we become a repellent to love the more we obsess. I do. I am sure you have met those people who are looking so hard for love that they become a little creepy. Ya know what I am talking about, and you may even have that person’s face in your mind right now, ha ha! They are just all up tight, weird, and trying way too hard to impress …  and they end up freaking people out and ultimately pushing any potential “mate” away. Just live, love and enjoy! Chill! It’ll happen at the right time. (obviously you must be smart, and follow your heart, make wise decisions, and get yourself out there to meet other people, ya da ya da! But it will happen. Don’t live out of fear, just have faith) 

10 Ways to Enjoy Being Snowed In

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As we get older the kid in us all seems to die, unfortunately! Why? We think we are too busy, too adult, to mature, too cool, too sophisticated ... all stupid excuses! And we also forget how to have fun! So here are some things we do to enjoy being snowed in at our house!

The assumption is that if you have a significant other you would do all these things TOGETHER! And if you have a family that you do all these things TOGETHER as a family!

1) Shovel Driveway!
2) Build a Snowman!
3) Make cookies!
4) Snuggle by the fireplace! (Or the oven if you don't have a fireplace! Or even in front of the computer with a picture of a burning fireplace!)
5) Make a snow-angel!
6) Have a snow-ball fight!
7) Have a movie marathon!
8) Play some old fashioned board-games!
9) Play hide-n-go-seek inside!
10) Play a game of paint-ball! (Okay, so that wouldn't work ... so use nurf guns!)

Paint Your World in Beautiful Colors

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We create the kind of life we want to live. Obviously there are 'some' things that are out of our control, who our parents are, where we are born, the color of our eyes, etc. etc. But, within each of those things there are a myriad of choices we can make to create the kind of life we want. Let me explain.

I was talking with my teenage daughter today (I know, right ... pray for me!) and she mentioned a fellow student who signed a deal to play football for Auburn University. It was a big deal. And I blurted out, "I bet he doesn't use drugs, or sleep around and do a bunch of typical stupid teenage stuff does he?" She said, "no he doesn't!" And I got to thinking about all of us and how we ought to count the costs of each and every decision we make in life. And ask, "how will this decision affect my future plans?" "Is this what I want from life?" "Will this decision take me places I want to go, or take me away from what I want?"

Powerful questions! Because there are many things that are out of our control, but there are a million things within our control! Who you marry? Will I get pregnant in high school? Will I go to prison? Will I be financially secure? Will I be wealthy? Will I do something great with my life? Will I change the world? Will I follow God or will I follow my peers? Will I make wise decisions, or stupid ones?

We are ultimately in control of so much of our lives, don't think for a minute you are not! Making GOOD choices will only increase the odds of you painting your world in beautiful colors!

Hanky Panky Challenge - Day 1

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Today officially kicks off the 10th Annual Hanky Panky Challenge! And this year I will be giving a "Hanky Panky" idea every day to help you have the best Hanky Panky ever!

IDEA #1:

Take time to sit down and hand write your partner a love note! Not just, "I love you" but really pour your heart out! Tell her/him how you feel down deep. Reflect on the day you met, or the moment you fell in love. Or reminiscence about the first date, or first trip together, etc. Go ahead, get after it!

Happy Hanky Panky!

February's Relationship Series

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Make plans to join me and my wife Jana every *Sunday in February at Mercy Church for our Annual Relationship Series! This is something we do each year to help strengthen relationships. Many couples have used it as a pre-marital counseling class, and have really found the content to be helpful in their relationship.

Location: Belinder Elementary School || 7230 Belinder Ave. ||  Prairie Village, KS 66208  ||
Service Time: 10:00 am (Service lasts about 1 hour)
Cost: FREE

*On kick off Sunday, February 2nd we will be serving a FREE Hot Breakfast before service at 9:00 am if you would like to come early to join us! 

3 Things to Help Make You Happy Today

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If you are anything like the rest of the world, you seek happiness! I know I do! We live in a world with so many things that wants to strip us of the happiness we seek. I have found that in my own life there are just a handful, three to be exact, of things that if I do them regularly lead me to a much more happy life!

1) Doing the things I love doing!

For you it's _____________________________! For me it's creating beautiful things! I love all forms of art (cooking, painting, music, etc) and when I do them I feel a deep sense of satisfaction that leads to a feeling of happiness. What is it for you? Make time for them! If you are too busy to do them, then you are in fact too busy and should cut somethings from your busy life so you can do them.

2) Be with the people I love being with!

The opposite is also true here; don't be with the people you don't want to be with! Easier said then done, huh?! Well it's still true! Cutting bad people from your life is like removing a deadly tumor from your body, it's the start of health and healing.

Once you remove the bad people, fill those times with good people. People who inspire you, encourage you to be and do good! People who believe in you and your dreams.

3) Live the way I want and should live!

 Now this could be misconstrued to mean something I do not mean it to mean. Okay, I say this with the assumption that you want to live a moral upstanding life like Jesus teaches us to live. So with that said, for me this translates in to so many areas of life.

    a. Be honest.
    b. Think good pure thoughts.
    c. Be kind.
    d. Eat healthy.
    e. Exercise
    f. Listen to positive and encouraging music.
   g. Etc.

Does this make sense? I hope so. In other words be true to yourself and to who God made you to be. I see it so much in my counselling practice, people depressed, full of anxiety, fear, turmoil, and the like ... and it all stems from a lesser-lived life. Doing what they know they shouldn't, lying, cheating, stealing, eating bad, skipping going to the gym, and so on. These things lead to an unhappy life every time! Without fail!

And one more for the road ... and this is for the super mature, those who are emotional giants, frankly, I think that could be you! 

4) Decide to be happy!

No matter your situation in life, decide to be happy IN IT! You don't have to be happy ABOUT IT, but rather happy IN IT! I know it can be extremely tough, but happiness is ultimately a choice we must all make. So why not do yourself a favor and chose it for yourself?! You'll be 'happy' you did!

Your Life Matters!


The Cure for Sexual Frustration

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Much of my counseling does involve “sexual” issues. And one common one is the whole “sexual frustration” issue. How to relieve, or release or get relief from “sexual frustration?” I believe I have a really helpful tip that could save you and your partner from having too much sexual frustration. Let’s be honest, sexual frustration is frustrating!

1 VERY HELPFUL TIP TO HELP WITH SEXUAL FRUSTRATION

1) Communicate CLEARLY to your partner when you want sex! (Response of partner) Communicate CLEARLY when that request can be fulfilled.

Very important, if you are on the receiving end of this request, and you can’t or don’t want to have sex at that moment make sure to tell him/her WHEN they can expect to have sex.

From my personal experience; when I am hungry and have no idea when I am going to eat it causes more stress and anxiety and hunger. But if I know that I will be eating a meal at a certain time in the future it helps to calm me down. It’s the same with the sex life! If I want it, and feel I may never get it again (we know this isn't true logically, but typically the sex drive is emotional and can’t be dealt with logically,) it causes much distress! But if I know that tonight after the kids go to bed I will get it. I am fine. Make sense?

So wives, if your husband makes advances and it’s not a good time for you, no problem, just clearly communicate to him WHEN he can have it. Got it? Good! I promise this will be so helpful in relieving sexual frustration and tension between you and your partner.

Here’s the deal, when a man (or woman) get turned down on a sexual advance, it’s not only hurtful to be turned down, but if we don’t know WHEN it will happen it does cause a lot of undo stress emotionally. I don’t feel that in a marriage there should be much turning down, if ever (I am serious here!) But on those rare occasions when you are turning your partner down be thoughtful enough to say, “Not tonight, but tomorrow morning I’d like to!” And then make sure to be good on your promise! Don’t say tomorrow morning and then turn them down again, or forget. Trust me, they haven’t forgotten!

And finally, don’t ever make sexual promises that you can’t or won’t keep! Don’t promise (or tease) “such n such” then not do “such n such.”



Disclaimer: As a Christian Pastor and Relationship Coach I am making the assumption that the couples I am writing to are in a committed relationship (which I would typically say is defined by marriage) and I am not encouraging casual sexual behavior! I am completely against casual sex. I feel that it is very harmful emotionally and does not encourage a healthy happy relationship.  

Mend Broken Bridges

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In all of our lives there are relationships that come and others that go. I know that I have a core group of friends who have been there nearly my entire adult life, while others have withered away for one reason or another. I have even had friends “so called” who promised to be my “friend” forever, and through various circumstances, some out of their control (Divorce, Job Relocation, Marriage, etc.) made it difficult to keep their promise, and now they are gone.

Have you ever lost a friend that you would hope to have back in your life? Do you even remember what happened? Why did you stop being friends? Was it their fault? Your fault? No one's fault?

I recently had a conversation with an old friend, and it was good to mend the broken friendship and say, “I’m sorry!” and, “I forgive you!” And move forward.  How about you? Do you have a relationship that you would like to mend? If so, then make that call; send that email, fb message, or text TODAY! Maybe it will be well received, maybe not, but it’s worth a try!


Life is way too short to have broken down relationship bridges! One day that person will be gone, or you will be gone … and you’ll wish you did! (Unless of course you are a cold-hearted bitter person, then maybe not!)

My Story of Health & Healing

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Please READ my story before you watch the video!

I have never shared the story you are about to read over the internet, in fact it happened over 17 years ago (when I was 27) so the internet was a very new thing and I only had VHS tapes of this seminar that literally saved my life! And that is no exaggeration! And I must give the reason I didn't share so you can understand my position, but also understand now why I must share - when I entered the ministry and became a pastor I was told that it wouldn't be right to tell people about Jesus AND healthy diet stuff (even though both had dramatically changed my life) ... so I took the advice and pretty much kept my personal story of health and healing a secret. Only those close to me heard my story. I am coming out of the closest, as they say, to tell my "back from the dead health and healing story." 

MY STORY 

Back in 1996 I became very ill. At the time I weighed just under 200lbs, had a 38 inch waist and ate like any normal American - whatever I wanted, when I wanted and however much I wanted.  I was 27 years young, and invincible.

I'll never forget being rushed to the emergency room, dehydrated, unsure of just what was going on, very scared. I had bad digestion problems, had trouble going to the restroom (#2), suffering with heartburn, acid reflux, and felt dog tired all the time. It felt like my body was just shutting down. This led to bouts of depression and anxiety. It was a very dark time in my life. (Side note: I was lifting weights 5 days a week, playing softball once a week ... so I was active!)

I eventually went to see 3 different Doctors (in Tulsa, OK) to get some answers, they kept prescribing various drugs, one to help with the symptom, the other to counteract the adverse symptoms from the drug. After it was all said and done I was on 9 medications (6 of which I was told I would take for the rest of my life) and had to be rushed to the emergency room 2 more times to be re-hydrated. (You can ask my wife about this time in our lives … it still makes her cry from remembering how it felt to feel like she was losing her husband after just 3 short years of marriage!) This lasted 6 long months, then …

SOMEONE CARED ENOUGH TO SHARE

One day a concerned acquaintance from church came by my house to offer his prayers and support for me and my sickness, his name was John. John said, “Timmy I heard you are sick and I wanted to tell you that my Dad is a Nutrition Counselor and he and my mom live just right there (pointing across the street) and I think he can help you.”  I was a little like, whatever, but only because I had had several people drop off Pills, Powders and Potions that were sure to make me well and not one of them helped! And I tried them all! I was desperate to get well! I had a life to live, and this was not living life. John went on to say, “here is a VHS tape of my Dad giving one of his Health Talks, you ought to watch it.” Again, I was desperate to get well, so I watch it minutes after he left. (*The video above is that very Health Talk)

John had come by on a Friday morning, minutes after he left I popped the video tape in the VCR and watched in utter amazement by what I heard and saw! So that afternoon I called John’s Dad, his name was J.W. Emerson, and I told him I had watched the tape and needed help. I also told him a little bit about my health issues and he said, “come on over to the house tomorrow morning and bring your wife, we’ll talk.” I said, “Sounds great, see you tomorrow!”

THE SATURDAY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

I woke up Saturday morning excited to go across the street to meet this J.W. & Lois Emerson and find out more about HOW TO eat better so I could LIVE better. The story could really get long here, so I am going to cut to the chase – we met, I did exactly what J.W. said to do and 6 weeks later I was off all 9 medications, and 12 weeks later I lost 50lbs, and trimmed 8 inches off my waist and was completely healthy and feeling great, actually better than I had in many years. And that was 17 years ago, and today at age 44 years young and I am still trim, medication free (I don’t even take Aspirin but maybe a couple times a year) and feeling great! And I believe you can too!

As a bi-product of my journey to health, we had many close friends and family members see with their own eyes what had happened to me and so they asked, “what are you doing?” I told them, and they made some change too and saw the same kind of results.

On one hand I would say, “This isn't for everyone” but on the other hand, “I believe it is for everyone!” ha ha! Seems to be contradictory, but honestly if I hadn't been sick and desperate I would have never changed my diet! I honestly didn't think that what I ate had anything to do with how I felt! I just didn't! I thought it was all just about genetics, ‘some have good ones, and others have bad ones’ … I hoped I had the good ones. Now I believe different.

So, if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, or need to lose a few pounds or if you just want to learn some really cool stuff about how the body functions and how food affects your body, watch the video and I pray your life will be forever changed as mine was!

J.W. & Lois Emerson come to our home once a year and give their Healthy For Life talk, let me know if you are interested in attending.

QUESTIONS

My Phone: (913) 782-7288
My Email: timmyjgibson@gmail.com

If you would like to order one or all three products that JW mentioned, NuPlus, Calli & Quinary - please email me and I will give you our account information to ORDER TODAY and it will be shipped to your house!