Much of my counseling does involve “sexual” issues.
And one common one is the whole “sexual frustration” issue. How to relieve, or
release or get relief from “sexual frustration?” I believe I have a really
helpful tip that could save you and your partner from having too much sexual frustration. Let’s be honest, sexual frustration is frustrating!
VERY HELPFUL TIP TO HELP WITH SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
CLEARLY to your partner when you want sex! (Response of partner) Communicate CLEARLY
when that request can be fulfilled.
Very important, if you are on the receiving
end of this request, and you can’t or don’t want to have sex at that moment
make sure to tell him/her WHEN they can expect to have sex.
From my personal experience; when I
am hungry and have no idea when I am going to eat it causes more stress and
anxiety and hunger. But if I know that I will be eating a meal at a certain
time in the future it helps to calm me down. It’s the same with the sex life!
If I want it, and feel I may never get it again (we know this isn't true
logically, but typically the sex drive is emotional and can’t be dealt with
logically,) it causes much distress! But if I know that tonight after the kids
go to bed I will get it. I am fine. Make sense?
So wives, if your husband makes
advances and it’s not a good time for you, no problem, just clearly communicate
to him WHEN he can have it. Got it? Good! I promise this will be so helpful in
relieving sexual frustration and tension between you and your partner.
Here’s the deal, when a man (or
woman) get turned down on a sexual advance, it’s not only hurtful to be turned
down, but if we don’t know WHEN it will happen it does cause a lot of undo
stress emotionally. I don’t feel that in a marriage there should be much
turning down, if ever (I am serious here!) But on those rare occasions when you
are turning your partner down be thoughtful enough to say, “Not tonight, but
tomorrow morning I’d like to!” And then make sure to be good on your promise!
Don’t say tomorrow morning and then turn them down again, or forget. Trust me,
they haven’t forgotten!
And finally, don’t ever make sexual promises
that you can’t or won’t keep! Don’t promise (or tease) “such n such” then not
do “such n such.”
Disclaimer: As a Christian Pastor
and Relationship Coach I am making the assumption that the couples I am writing to are in a
committed relationship (which I would typically say is defined by marriage) and I am not
encouraging casual sexual behavior! I am completely against casual sex. I feel
that it is very harmful emotionally and does not encourage a healthy happy
I want to accomplish one thing in my life, besides being a great husband, a great father and having a great head of hair! And that one thing is to help people have healthier happier relationships!
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