TIPS ON WRITING YOUR OWN VOWS
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Don’t stress about writing your own Wedding Vows, I promise you can do this. At this point in my career I’ve heard thousands of personally written vows, and can’t say I’ve heard a bad one. The anxiety of reading them in front of your friends and family is far worse than actually doing it, trust me, I know this firsthand. I wrote my own Wedding Vows (pasted below), and once I started to write them, the words flew out onto the paper, and if I can do this I know you can do this too.
Here is what I did, if you follow these simple steps you’ll be sure to write something that will touch the heart of your partner, as well as the family and friends who are present to celebrate.
First, I went to a park with my journal and a pen (I am old school, I still like to use pen and paper, but you can bring your laptop if that makes you feel better). A park is a happy place for me, if not for you, go wherever you can quiet the mind and relax. Once you find that happy place begin to think about your partner; go back to the beginning, when you first met. Think about how you felt at that moment in time, think about how that first interaction went, what was said, and how it made you feel. Then just travel through the first date, the first kiss, the first time you were intimate. And most importantly when you really started liking them, then loving them. Now think about all the things you love about them, how they eat, their work ethic, how they treat people, their love of animals, or even the funny quirks they have. This is what we call reminiscing.
After about 15 minutes of just free thought, start writing those thoughts down. Don’t worry about misspelled words, or bad grammer or even making sense at this point, just write it down. You can make sense of it later. Once you’ve written down your thoughts go back and read it. It’s like writing a story, important to have a beginning, a middle and an end. Though I think it’s good to end with making promises. And of course humor is always nice and helpful if you are getting too emotional.
In a nutshell just tell the story of your love. Highlight an event or two that’s memorable and add in there how important they are to you, and how you promise to cherish them til the end of time. Just open up your heart and tell them how much they mean to you, how special they are and how much you care for them.
Finally, when you’ve finished writing, have a friend read them and give you their feedback, and it would be helpful to find a friend who can also help with editing. Someone who can help you say what you want to say even better than you have said it. I help clients all the time with this process. One of the perks of hiring a professional Officiant to perform your wedding.
Q: How long should your vows be?
A: 1 - 3 minutes
Length: Once you type out your vows in 12 size font it should be a full page. The max length would be 2 pages. Any more than that and it’s just too much.
One last thing, if you are speaking from the heart and telling your story there’s just no way they are going to be bad vows, especally for your partner. They will appreciate your words of love, adoration, and praise … and most importantly the promises you intend on keeping.
MY VOWS
Here are the vows from my Wedding Day to my sweetheart Jessica.
“It was just down the road that I saw you for the very first time. You captured my attention, not only because of your beautiful blue eyes, those luscious locks, that smile or your amazing voice. It was your essence. You had a way about you that was so appealing, and I knew I wanted to know more. It was ironic to discover later that the word Eureka means, a cry of joy or satisfaction when one finds or discovers something. I knew I had discovered something very special.
It was 8 months later on a Monday afternoon that I finally got that chance. A simple Coffee Date, even though you weren’t entirely sure it was a date. (Laugh) I walked away from that “date” with you, and cancelled my “other” weekend plans. (Smile) I knew you were special and deserved all my attention, so it began on that day for me … I didn’t know for sure you were the ONE at this point, but I was sure you were no ordinary woman and I was going to give you all my attention.
It’s been over a year since that Coffee Date and you are even more wonderful than I could’ve ever dreamed. You are kind, caring, thoughtful, sweet, hardworking, sexy, smart, so fun to talk to… and Jesus, you’re pretty. You have a heart of gold, I’ve never heard you say one bad word about anyone. You just say, “Hmmm … they’re curious!”
I’ve never met at women with a heart as big as yours, or a face as pretty. You’re home to me, the place I am meant to be and I can’t wait to explore this life with you. You are a dream come true. Today, and everyday until the end of time I chose you. I promise to give you all my love and adoration. I promise to always be kind, to believe the best about you, to support you and to encourage your hopes and dreams. I love you here and now, and in every lifetime and in every universe.” - Timmy Gibson
