People feel that if they are treated badly, then they can also treat badly. I can’t tell you the number of people I have counseled after an affair and they say something like, “but he wasn’t there for me …” or “she didn’t meet my physical needs …” or some other ‘reason’ for their poor actions. Do we honestly think that is going to make a difference when we stand before God? Like He is going to say, “Oh in that case yes, totally cool you stepped out on the marriage, I didn’t realize she did that … well that explains it … its all good.” No, no no! We are responsible for what WE do not matter what anyone else does to us!
NOW on the other hand, those excuses do give us a little look into the WHOLE story and maybe a glimpse into HOW it got to the point of an affair. It doesn’t justify it or excuse it, but might help explain it. Make sense?