Everything Happens for a Reason 2 of 3

Ephesians 5:17 “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.”

I think sometimes we complicate God’s will, please understand I would not be ignorant enough to think we can fully understand God in all His greatness, BUT I do believe that God has made some things fairly clear in the Bible about Him and His will (found in the person of Jesus Christ) I think the real issue is just our obedience or lack thereof. I know we do not like to hear that … “personal responsibility” … we loathe taking responsibility for our decisions, we’d rather blame others… and God is typically the “other person” we blame, unfortunately.

Here is what I have learned in my studies about God’s will… this is simply a way that has help me to make sense of it … 3 parts to His will:

1.) The intentional Will of God - God’s ideal plan for man
2.) The circumstantial Will of God - God’s plan within certain circumstances

3.) The ultimate Will of God - God’s final realization of His purposes

Here is my best attempt at making this practical:

My Intentional/Ultimate Will for my daughter is that one day she find true love, get married, then have children. Let’s say she gets pregnant at 16 … now what? Now my Circumstantial Will is that the young man who is responsible dies a terrible slow death… lol … Seriously, now my will has changed as a result of her choice… Now I want her to “have a healthy baby at 16, and be a wonderful mother” … AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!

Do you see how because of her choice my will now must work within the circumstances given?
Just as it is with us, being made in the image of God, I believe it is with God as well! Because we HAVE FREE WILL … we make our own choices, which is great, but it is also what gets us in trouble.

Everything Happens for a Reason 1 of 3

I am teaching a 2 week series on Trying to Figure God Out, and the one curvy phrase I am attempting to straighten out is; Everything Happens for a Reason. This ever-so-popular phrase is what many people say in hindsight to some tragic or ill suffered event that has occurred and has somewhat work out in their favor … or at least has worked out.

Now, the reality is that YES everything does indeed happen for a reason; this is called cause and effect. But when people say it that is not usually what they mean. What they mean is that “God made me get in a car crash so that I would meet so-n-so in the hospital and marry him”. No, actually you got in a car crash because you were texting while you were driving therefore you did not see the car in front of you come to a sudden stop, and just so happens that someone that you were compatible with was there also because he was texting and driving… this is why you make a good couple. Lol! Or “God sent me to prison to straighten my life out”. No, you went to prison because you knocked off a Quick Trip, but while in prison reality struck you in the face and you now realize that stealing is bad (Bible talks about this) and will cause much grief.

I am a little tongue in cheek … but I think you get the point. God is not in heaven causing people to break their legs, get into car crashes, or lose their jobs. This is what we call life! Life happens, to all of us.

Though I will say that I have noticed that many of the “not so positive” stuff that happens in our life is a result of something stupid we’ve done, and in God’s love and wisdom He USES those times to teach us … and hopefully we learn!

Save Lives - Don’t Text and Drive!

Right Where You Are

Change the World right where you are… I think sometimes we think that opportunity lies just over the rainbow … over there. Well I am here to tell you that you can change the world Right Where You Are!

1) Give your best to those closest to you
2) Stay True to the vision and/or dream God gave you
3) Keep learning and growing
4) Never ever Quit, no matter how difficult it gets … keep pressing forward!

Do something great with your one and only life!

PMS

You may be thinking, “What is a guy doing talking about PMS?” well I am not going to talk about it in the context of PMS in the medical-womanly-monthly-deal … dear Lord help me! Ha!

I just wanted to let my life be an open book and tell you that I (along with other men I know) have PMS from time to time too. I woke up yesterday in what I would call a “pissy” mood (I am sorry if that word offends you … it’s just the best word to describe my mood yesterday … so forgive me).

Have you ever had those days? Weeks? Months? Years? When you are not totally sure why, but you are just unhappy. And it’s no ONE thing, it’s EVERY thing? You’re unhappy about the job, the car, the kids, the spouse, the house, the neighbors, the boss, the employees, the parents, the clothes, how the clothes fit, lack of money to buy new ones and the stinking little pesky animal running around that the kids said they wanted who is peeing in every corner of your stupid house? Been there?

I think if we are honest (which is the best way to be) we have all had those days. So the question is what to do about them? That is a great question, which I have been working through myself the last couple days. Here is what I am learning:

1) Don’t make any sudden moves (i.e. quit your job, murder your pet, etc.)

2) Keep doing what you KNOW is right (i.e. I have flashbacks of High School days, and think “I’ll make it all better by drinking a 6 pack of Coors Light … then I’ll feel better”.) But I refrain.

3) Hold your tongue (i.e. don’t spew all the hate that is rumbling in your head towards those closest to you. Continue to love.)

4) Talk to a trusted friend (i.e. Call a friend and say, “I am having a terrible day… and just spill it.)

5) Ask God to reveal to you the source of this mood

Let’s not over-spiritualize or over-dramatize this, sometimes we just have a bad day and it’s a part of life and it’s no big deal. But if “bad days” are frequent, then you may want to dig a bit deeper to find out WHY!

Much love!

The Bedroom 3 of 3

For those of you wondering this blog series, The Bedroom, was a result of a question I received a week ago. For that person and you I hope it has given you some things to think about and consider, that in the end will help you and your spouse have the most rewarding and fulfilling love life!

Now I will address the final question asked about sexual positions and what is appropriate…

III. Sexual Positions
To answer the question directly; "are any and all sex positions okay to try within marriage?" Yes, of course following the guidelines I laid out earlier in the blog series.

I would get a Kama sutra book! Everyone who is married should go purchase this kind of book today! There are many to choose from… just go to Barnes and Noble WITH YOUR SPOUSE and pick one, or order off Amazon.com which may be a bit more private for those of you who care. Some are more explicit then others, I encourage the cartoon drawing ones. Then, each night pick a different position to try.

This is what makes marriage fresh and fun, rather then boring and predictable. I am telling you, boring and predictable often leads to dissatisfaction and divorce! And obviously dissatisfaction can lead to making unhealthy choices that are very destructive.

I am very conservative in many ways, but also very liberal… actually we are all more conservative then others on some issues and more liberal than others on other issues. I am pretty conservative when it comes to marriage and the family!

Whether you agree or not with what I have shared, I hope at least it drives you to have some great conversations that in the end will bless your life!

Keep the questions coming!

A Name

When I was born my name was Timothy Joe Hakanson. And yes, my first name is a bible name… this is why the 2 greatest books in the Bible are 1st and 2nd Timothy!

My mother remarried a wonderful man when I was 6 and he later adopted me and my sister. My name was changed to Timothy Joe Gibson. In pre-school everyone called me Timmy, expect my Grandfather (Papa) who called me Timbo, actually still calls me that. I was too old for Timmy by Kindergarten, after which I demanded everyone call me by my adult name, Tim Gibson.

I went by the name Tim Gibson up through high school, though when I graduated high school I was somewhat mature and secure enough to entertain my fond childhood name, Timmy. And by the time I was a sophomore in college I had made the mature/secure leap back to Timmy.

I laugh many times when I introduce myself to people… “Hi, I am Timmy”, “Hi, did you say Tim or …?” “Yes I really go by Timmy”, “oh, Tim-my, gotcha” … then there's an uncomfortable gaze.

So, what does your name mean?

Timothy Honoured by God "Greek"

You are highly perceptive and intuitive with a wonderful imagination and the ability to manifest your dreams in reality. You are able to create joy, security and harmony for yourself and in the lives of others by the support and dedication which you give. Often the centre of influence people admire your fine qualities and follow your example. Much happiness is gained through your willingness to serve good causes.

The BEDROOM 2 of 3

*I realize there may be some of you reading this that think I am very old fashion and even an irrelevant prude (a “goofy Christian” I can hear some say). For those of you who feel that way need to read my personal story in my blog entry entitled SEX Chocolate. I’ve lived the “wild” life, and it left me empty, lonely and sad … so I speak from my heart … and only from my experience. So if you are currently living the “wild” life, don’t judge me, cause I honestly do not judge you. I want you to experience true love, meaning and purpose in life!


II. What is okay (sexually) within the marriage?

Now that is a great question that many people, especially Christians are asking! Obviously this is something that should be discussed with your spouse in detail, BUT there are some fundamental things to build from:

1) No additional partners, duh this would be considered adultery. Even if a spouse agrees, it’s still adultery. At the end of our life we stand before God, not our spouse. Even though guys often dream of the days of Solomon who had 700 wives… sorry, even though that sounds exciting, it’s not okay.
a. I would even go as far to say that to include pornographic movies is bad. (if you want to know specifically why… leave a comment please!)
b. Though, I would say that sex toys are fine IF, and ONLY IF you and your spouse agree to incorporate them in some way.

2) Nothing harmful.

3) Nothing degrading.

4) Must be agreed upon. Anything forced is wrong! If I can just be real honest here, any guy who would force something on his wife is an idiot! If you really love someone you would never “force” them to do anything they don’t want to do. (If she does not want to engage in any sexual activity at all, even then you would not force it, but I would drive to a counselor’s office to get that worked out today.) Now occasionally “begging” is okay. Ha! I’ve heard of spouses who have used guilt to get their mate to do certain things… not okay! Like saying, “honey the bible says that you are to submit to my desires and do such-n-such to meet my need…” If your husband says that, slap him in the face and say that was from Pastor Timmy. Come on, a marriage should be a mutually fulfilling relationship where both the husband and the wife are happy, free, and fulfilled. No spouse should feel as though they are enslaved…

5) Experiment and SHARE your fantasies w/spouse … role playing (i.e. Doctor & patient or Cops & Robbers, or Office rendezvous (w/spouse) Dress up, wearing masks, etc. All these things are completely acceptable in my opinion IF YOU ARE cool with it and the above guidelines are followed.)

To me if you do not have a fulfilling relationship, which includes your sex life, with your spouse it leaves the door open for “other” relationships to develop. I think we should do everything we can to nurture and cultivate a very passionate relationship with the person you are married to!

Remember this is just my opinion, you do not have to agree … and we can still be friends!

More tomorrow...

The BEDROOM 1 of 3

*The following blog entry includes some explicit material… though done tastefully!

Thanks for your open and honest question Cleardensity!

I taught a series just last year called “The Best Sex Ever”, I’ll send the DVD’s to you for free if you want… email info@olathelifefellowship.org with your request and mailing address.

I. Oral Sex – This is using the mouth and/or tongue on the sex organ.

1) Is oral sex … sex? Despite what former president Bill Clinton says, yes it is sex! So, I am going to seem old fashion here, but that means that you should not engage in oral sex outside of a committed relationship (which is marriage).

2) Is oral sex okay within the context of a committed relationship (which is marriage)? Yes! Nowhere in scripture is oral sex forbidden. I believe God made the mouth for kissing, and what we kiss on our mate is our choice. Heb. 13:3-5

Here is the deal; if you think oral sex is wrong, then don’t do it! But don’t judge those who are free to do this… Paul teaches on this is the epistles when the Jews were trying to put the new Christian gentiles in bondage with their strict eating laws… don’t judge another person because they are free to eat meat… and you who are free don’t judge those who don’t eat meat! Same applies here.

Here is where the rub is; the wife is for it, and the husband isn’t. What do you do? Somewhere there needs to be a compromise. I feel that if a couple really loves each other then they want to please, and satisfy each other, and if oral sex is something they would like, then why not. Then on the other hand, if a couple really loves each other they wouldn’t want their spouse to feel pressured or uncomfortable … so again, there must be a compromise that both can be satisfied with.

Tomorrow… what is okay “sexually” within a marriage?

A Life that MATTERS

What does it mean to live a life that matters?

That is a great question for each of us to ask ourselves. Too many times we do not stop and ask ourselves the hard questions of life; what am I living for… in other words am I living for a grand purpose? Or is life just about me and mine?

I encourage you to stop sometime today for at least 10 minutes and reflect on your life, your purpose, God’s purpose and the direction your life is heading… and then ask yourself; am I going in the right direction?

Live a life that matters!

No LIFE

Top 10 signs you have no life outside church:

1) TBN is your favorite TV Channel
2) You still listen to your cassettes of Petra, Stryper, and the Imperials
3) You have no friends outside your church friends
4) You read every book in the Left Behind series and hope they keep coming out with more.
5) You own and wear the T-shirt pictured above.

6) When someone says “How are you?” you say, “Praise God Im more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthens me”.
7) Just after you sip a good cup of coffee you shout “Glory to God” even while in the coffee shop.
8) When your car breaks down you actually lay hands on it and pray that it is healed.
9) You actually own stock in the company that created WWJD.
10) When you refer to anything other than church you put the word “secular” in front of it.

Praise His name, have a blessed day in the Lord Brother!

Your friend in Christ,

Rev. Timmy Gibson

Coming Next Week ... If 4 out of 10 identify you... why that's kind of scary!