Pit Stop

/
 
Life is moving fast and I'm not really sure I'm doing a good job at taking the occasional pit stops to be refueled, recharged and refreshed, how about you?

I know pit stops are necessary, and even critical to doing life well until the end, which I hope is a long time from now! If you are like me - I always say, "I'll rest tomorrow," or "I will get rest on my vacation in July". But let's be honest, you need more than just 7-14 days on the beach (or whatever it is you do for vacation - hopefully it's not 'visiting family' ... that is NO vacation and it's definitely not refreshing! Just sayin!) to refuel, recharge and refresh when there are another 315 days we are running.

There are probably as many ideas on REST as there are people on this planet, but let's unpack it for just a minute shall we; in life there are seasons, not only actual weather seasons, but seasons of how life flows. It's different for different people, depending on job, family, extracurricular activities, and life in general. For example for me, as a pastor, my year runs crazy busy from January - May, then June - August things slow down at church (kind of) but our personal lives get busy with family stuff, then life gets back to crazy September - December 24th ... then there is a break from Christmas - New Years Day.

I say all that, not to give my life details but to say that just as we plan for a yearly vacation, or Christmas Vacation, or any other trip we might take we need to plan for quarterly pit stops. And these do not need to be big expensive trips somewhere. You can stay right at home and get a refreshing pit stop ... a pit stop is simply "pulling over". It could be just taking advantage of a day off and just chilling, rather then filling up your day off with busy crazy work. Now I realize sometimes we just can't take off, believe me I understand, but what happens in my life is that I get in a habit of working 24/7 and then missing those times I really could chill. 

A pit stop is something different for each person, maybe these will help you discover what a pit stop would look like for you.

Pit Stop Ideas (each of these can be done alone or with that someone special ... your choice!)

  • Take an Saturday afternoon and go hiking in the woods (if you have kids, take one with you!)
  • Go to the pool.
  • After work go to Starbucks (or any coffee shop) get yourself something to drink and read a book.
  • Go to a park sit and listen to the birds, or watch people and forget about all the things that make you crazy.
  • Go on a bike ride.
  • Work from some place other than the office (if you can!)
  • Fill up the gas tank and pick a direction and just drive. (at some point you will need to turn around and come home though!)
  • Go to a library and get some fiction book that interests you, that you normally wouldn't read, and sit and read for a few hours.
  • Rent and old classic movie, pop some popcorn and relax.
  • Draw up a bubble bath, light some candles, play a little classical music and relax.
  • Do something you really want to do ... come on, dream a little! You only live once, LIVE! (listen, don't make excuses why you can't ... start making excuses why you CAN!)
  • Focus on the good things in your life and in the lives of those around you! (Negativity is a killer! Avoid it like the plague!)
  • What is it you used to do that brought you joy? Do it!
  • Try something NEW ... a new food, a new book, a new movie, a new drink, a new place ... something new.
  • Put the kids to bed early, pour a glass of wine, grab a great book and stay up a while and read.
  • Do __________________________ (put here whatever it is you really want to do).


Can You Love Someone You Don't Like?

/
Can You Love Someone You Don't Like? YES, I believe you can!

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

I really struggle with this one! Can I say that and still be a pastor? I sure hope so because it is the truth! Fortunately I am the pastor of MERCY church! :) From my many conversations with pastor friends, it's difficult for most of us. I mean let's be honest, it's difficult to love even people you don't gel with, or those who have opposing views, or frankly even those you just don't like for whatever reason - maybe it's the way they walk or talk or look. Maybe it's just me, the good thing is that it doesn't happen real often, but there are people I have met and I instantly just don't like. There's just something about certain people that can rub you the wrong way. I am not always sure just what that is? It could be my own insecurities, something from my past could be clouding my judgment, or I could be sensing something bad about a person. It's hard to tell at times isn't it? It is for me!

And unfortunately in life people burn ya, or stab you in the back, that is always such a blessing in life. Ha ha! It happens a lot in ministry, and I am sure there have been people who have felt that I have stabbed them in the back, of course I never see it like that ... we are never guilty are we? It's always the other person, of course!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOVE YOUR ENEMY, REALLY?

I’ve wondered this before; so what does it mean to love my enemy? Do I have to accept their friendship request on facebook? Do I have to stop and talk to them when I see them at the grocery store? Do I need to invite them over for dinner? Do they get invited to my birthday party? Questions I struggle with, especially as a pastor who is supposed to love everyone. And does to love them, mean I like them? Great questions, I think!

I am not totally sure I have all the answers, and frankly I could be tainted since I have been hurt many times over my 20 years in ministry by people and have learned to protect myself, but I do feel I have a healthy perspective. I also realize that being hurt is relative … what I mean is that I have had people hurt me by telling me the truth about myself, but it was a good hurt a hurt I learned from it and became a better person because of it. Another blog entry another time; but can people really hurt me? Or do I allow what they do to hurt me? Interesting! I do know that there are times in life we must protect ourselves, just as Proverbs 4: 23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." When there is someone in your life who is constantly hurting you, you must protect yoursef ... Boundaries! And sometimes ... Distance!

Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

The answer to all my ranting questions above would be, NO! Absolutely not! I truly believe you can love someone and not like them. To love isn’t to like. People, well meaning Christians, get this all wrong and are taken advantage of too many times. The older I get and the closer I get to Jesus the more and more I want to spend time with those who really are love people. I can’t stand being around bitter, pessimistic, negative, hateful people. I just can’t. And the older I get I find myself only wanting to be around people who love people, and love me (I mean seriously, who wants to hang around people who don’t like you … that would be like wanting to walk around wearing sandpaper underwear!)


Maybe I’m being too vulnerable here, but there are people I do not like (I know, shocking,) but I can say that I love them. And how I know this is that I wish them no ill will! I wish them well, I really do. I wouldn’t ignore them if we happen to be eating at the same restaurant. Now I wouldn’t invite them to sit at the table with me, but I wouldn’t ignore them either. You must keep a clean heart. It’s a fine line. Also, when you keep your own heart right before God you tend to be more sympathetic to people, even people who have hurt you. Usually those who get real bitter or hateful are just emotionally and spiritually immature. They are unable to process issues thinking of it from the other person’s point of view; they only think of things from their side of it … that is a small minded person.

There have been times people have really done me wrong, and it has taken me a couple months to clean my heart, but I, at least at the writing of this blog, have been successful keeping my heart clean. There isn’t a person alive I wouldn’t at least say “Hi” to if I saw them out somewhere. That could change, you never know. Ha ha!

So what about you is your heart clean? Even towards those who have done you wrong in your mind? Don’t live life bitter, it sucks the life out of you! Forgive, and LOVE!

Too Busy

/
I normally blog every week, but not lately! I have been "too busy" and have not taken the time to say anything, other than little 140 character tweets! Follow me if you'd like @TimmyKC. I actually had some friends message me and say, "Timmy I miss reading your blog posts ... please start blogging again!" I really appreciate that! And I will, just let me get through Easter and I will be BACK to blogging!

On another note, I said I was going to only blog on Relationship Topics, well I guess I lied, because I just can't do that. Ha ha! I have too many things to say about too many topics to limit my self to only blogging on Relationship Issues. Now, granted that may be most of my topic content, but not all!

Peace, have a great Easter ... talk to you next week!

Fight Fair

/
All couples, who live together, fight! It's normal and even healthy to fight ... what matters is HOW you fight. Just like in a Boxing Match there are rules, or guidelines that both opponents much abide by ... a rule book for How to Fight Fair is what every couple needs

There are some staple rules, but the rules will vary with each individual depending on their background, personality, and temperament.

Rules for everyone:

1)      No screaming!

2)      No name-calling!

3)      No hitting!

4)      No throwing things!

5)      Leave your gloves on at all times!

It’s important to remember that when fighting (just a side note if you are in a brand new relationship and you are thinking; “like oh my gosh, we never ever fight … its all love, hugs and kisses.” Trust me, give it a few weeks, maybe a few months, you’ll be fighting! Ha ha! Can I hear an amen somebody! Okay, so when you fight it’s important to be thinking WIN WIN. Remember, you are on the same team. It’s not about winning the argument, or putting them in their place. It’s about coming to an agreement that works for you and your partner! Too many times when we are fighting we are thinking in our mind, “I am going to set them straight, or get them to understand me.” And the problem is that your partner is typically thinking the same thing … when you BOTH should be SEEKING to understand each other rather than be UNDERSTOOD.

We fight, or should fight, to RESOLVE issues, not to bash each other!

Let’s just be real here; no two people are exactly alike, and that means there are going to be times in the relationship that you do not see eye to eye, and that is okay! Totally okay! And you can actually even have a wonderful relationship without agreeing, or seeing eye to eye on every single issue. Now, you must come to an understanding or some common ground, but you can be an individual with thoughts of your own!

Happy fighting!  

My First Marathon

/
KANSAS CITY MARATHON
October 20, 2012

I have run maybe a total of 5 miles over the last 4 years, and that's combining all miles run. But I have always loved a challenge, so that is what has led me to start training for my first marathon at age 42. I am not really sure what is so exciting about running 26.2 miles! Maybe it's the little running shorts I will get to wear for the first time. The short I have made fun of people wearing for years, now I am going to be 'that guy!' Help me Jesus!

I have thought of running in a marathon on many occasions, but not seriously until I was having a cup of coffee with a friend from church and he mentioned planning to run in the Kansas City Marathon. I thought, "I could do that ... I should do that ... I will do that!" It took me a day to really make sure I could and would commit. (I like to under commit and over deliver.)

So today I woke up and thought, "I better start 'training' for this marathon if I am going to finish it."

TRAINING DAY ONE: I ran 2.0 Miles in just under 20 minutes! And I felt good, I could have gone another mile, I think. I know that that's slow ... but it's a start.

Blessed to Bless

/
I have heard it said a thousand times, plus one, "We are Blessed to Bless others! Give, share, and help others, etc." This is the way, especially as a Christ Follower (Christian), we should live. But it wasn't until this morning that it hit me right square in the face and I understood it completely. OUR (YOUR) LIFE REALLY DOES MATTER! We are here to make a difference in whatever way we can. Small or big, it doesn't matter ... just do what you can, when you can for who you can!

I realized this morning that God blesses us for many different reasons. Sometimes it may be for our own benefit or pleasure, but many more times I thinks it's so we can be a blessing to others. And let's just be straight here, sometimes we are obedient to what God is asking of us, sometimes we are not. So for every story I have for you where I have obeyed, I have another story when I missed it, so lest I be elevated in your eyes!

We live in a nice home, it's nice but modest ... there are smaller and there are bigger ... it's relative I suppose. It is a 4 bedroom, 3 1/2 baths, with a 2 car garage. We live in a neighborhood and our house is one of 5 models ... so every 5th house looks a lot like ours. I could spit from my porch and hit my next door neighbor's house, or come real close (I can spit pretty good!). We live less than a mile from where our kids go to school. We are blessed!

There have been times I thought we ought to downsize, "we don't need all this space" I'd grumble to my wife. But about that time we'd have a friend or family member who has hit a rough patch in life and we've been able to help them by giving them a place to stay along with moral support. Our 4th bedroom is currently refuge to a single mother and her two children. We are blessed to bless!

  • Because God has blessed us with a house with a "Guest Room" we could help a family in need.

  • Because God has blessed our marriage, we have been able to help others with their marriage.

  • Because God has blessed us with health, we can work.

  • Because God has blessed us with wisdom, we teach.

  • Because God has blessed us with friends, we can be a friend.

  • Because God has given us people to help us through the years, we now help others.

I have come to believe that whatever we have, or whatever we do, who we are, and whatever talent we may have been given is for the purpose of HELPING and SERVING others. Let's not live selfish small lives! Let's live like Jesus lived ... Matthew 20:28 "...just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."