Finding True Love

/

Everyone wants true love. Well I guess I can't say everyone since I don't know everyone, but chances are that most everyone does want true love. But the challenge is finding that special someone.

I have several friends right now in search of THE ONE. And they often ask me; "Timmy do you think there is someone out there for me?" My answer is always the same, "Yes, I believe actually there are several "the ones" out there but first you must become the 'right' person in order to meet the 'right' person." I also add that "God will bring several special someones across your path, then you must decide which ONE is the RIGHT one for you."

I truly believe this. Now I believe that God often does this through Dating Services, work, friends, church, and getting out, etc. I do not think you can stay locked up in your Apartment and Mr. or Miss Right will just knock on the door wearing a shirt that reads, "the RIGHT ONE!"

I believe when I was dating around in my 20's I met several wonderful girls who I could have chosen to marry, but the one I chose was the best one, and the one I felt had the qualities I was looking for in a life-long mate. I was not willing to compromise because I do not believe in divorce ... I wanted to marry til death us part. We are only 16 years into it and she has stayed with me, so we are good so far!

I guess my only advice is this:

1) Don't WORRY about it - if you are too worried about it, you become desperate and that's a bad vibe that will actually repel a possible candidate. Just live your life, do what you do, and TRUST GOD! He will take care of you!

2) Don't settle - Just don't do it! If he isn't the right one, then move on! I am telling ya, you will regret it if you settle!

3) Rest in the fact that there is someone out there for you - It's true!

May cupid find you!

Bad Relationship Warning Signs

/

Why would anyone want to be in a bad relationship for more than a day or two? I see people all the time staying in bad relationships for months and even years! I mean we all want to be in or have GOOD relationships, and it's frustrating, to say the least, when we are in a bad one (or many.)

It seems that we do not see the forest among the trees - meaning we overlook the "warning signs" of a bad relationship for many reason. One big reason is fear. Fear keeps us bound up, unable to make the changes necessary to either turn a bad relationship around or break it off with the person we are dating.

I have come up with just a few "warning signs" that let you know you are in a *bad relationship.

* I am referring to non-marriage relationships here ... if these warning signs are what you see in your marriage I recommend you seek counseling to work through the issues!

1) Extreme Jealously - When the person you are dating is crazy jealous, always checking up on you, calling you, texting you, emailing you, etc. Run, and run fast far away! If he/she gets freaked out when you talk to the opposite sex ... there is a problem.

2) Overly Controlling - when you feel this person is acting more like a parent then a friend, again, run away. If they want to know where you were, when you got there, when you left, and who you talked to while you were there. Run!

3) Friends and Family Avoidance - Ever seen the couple who starts dating and all of a sudden they pull away from family and friends into their own little world? I have, and it's called crazy! That spells trouble with a capital "T".

4) Rude or Disrespectful - if the person you are with is rude or disrespectful to others he/she will eventually be disrespectful to you. I always tell people to watch how he/she treat the waiter at the restaurant, it will tell you a lot about the person. If they are rude and are disrespectful then I would run away.

5) Super Critical - are they super critical of you, or others? If so, this could be a bad problem. Criticism squashes a person self-esteem and that is just what it would do to anyone in relationship with them.

6) No Moral Compass - do they seem to know right from wrong? If not, then this will pose a huge problem when they are faced with choices. They may very well, and most likely chose wrong.

7) God is not a priority - if God is a priority to you then I highly recommend you be in relationship with someone who shares that same priority.

8) Who they are is who they are - I fully believe that people can and do change! But YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TO DO IT! I have seen WAY TOO MANY people date someone thinking hoping and even praying that they'd be able to change them to only find out later, sometimes much later, that they could not. God can, and God may even use you in the process ... but don't be fooled, God can change them without you... you are not the savior - God is!

Thoughts, Ideas or Questions are welcome!

Your Life Matters

/

This is true whether you feel like it's true or not. I have to remind myself of that often.

Life can sometimes wear you down, frustrate you and even make you a little crazy. That's normal from time to time to feel that way, I'm pretty sure we all have those feelings (days) on occasion; some more than others. But the question is; What do we do about it?

Should we just roll around in that fog, or give into the fear, the depression? I don't think so ... I don't think that does us any good, and it definitely doesn't help those around us. Now, don't get me wrong - don't lie about it, or hide. Here is the best way I've learned to handle those feelings:

1) Seek COUNSEL - Talk to a trusted friend. Of course talk to God about it! You got to be careful here that you don't just seem like a whiner-complainer-always-down-and-outer ... no one likes to be around those people ... unless they are one of them. I think it's important to be honest about how you feel.

2) TALK positive - Some people are weird here, feeling that they must always say ONLY positive stuff. Those people annoy me, and I am a pretty positive guy. Sometimes it just seem fake, but I am willing to say that I am wrong in my judgment and that's just how they are ... God bless them. I do believe in the power of "positive talk" or what some call "positive confession." There is nothing worse than a "Negative talker," everything is always doom and gloom, end of the world as we know it type people. There is a balance here we should find. I do not believe in ignoring the issue and just making empty positive confessions, but when we are faced with negative emotions I encourage positive words to combat those emotions.

3) DO things that make you feel good - The opposite is true here as well; Don't do things that make you feel bad. This actually brings up an issue I teach on a lot and am passionate about and that is RIGHT LIVING. Nothing depresses us more than living wrong, doing wrong, living sinful lives. This, especially for a Christian, messes us up big time. I know when I have done wrong, told a lie, or looked at something I shouldn't have looked at, I feel terrible and I condemn myself, which I then feel even worse knowing that I have not measured up to God's standard.

4) KNOW that your life does matter - it doesn't matter how or what you feel. Know the truth: YOUR LIFE MATTERS! IT doesn't only matter to God (of course) but your life matters to those around you, and even those you don't know and haven't even met yet. Has anyone brought you comfort, joy, laughter, hope, love, a tear, passion, or forgiveness? Than tell them!

There are many voices out there today; our parent's voice, our boss' voice, our child's voice, our neighbor's voice, television's voice, computer's voice, pastor's voice, our friend's voice ... the voice that matters most is GOD'S VOICE and He doesn't make any mistakes; YOUR LIFE MATTERS!

Only White Republicans Go to Heaven

/

When did we become so ridiculously stupid as Christians to believe that only white, heterosexual, evangelical, republicans, who listen to Christian music (except the artists who sinned like Amy Grant, Sandy Patti and Michael English), who completely agree with everything James Dobson says, and have read the entire Left Behind Book series (and think it's anointed and inspired just like the Bible), and think that *Kirk Cameron is a good actor and finally those who have prayed the "Sinner's Prayer" are the only ones going to Heaven?

*Let's be honest here; if there was a show like American Idol for Actors, Kirk Cameron would be the guy they would have on one of the few first episodes. No offense, he is probably a super nice guy, I'm just sayin.

FYI - Jesus would NOT be *Republican or Democrat ... He would be a reformer, an activist, and probably be a registered Independent and if He lived in Kansas City He would attend Mercy Church. (Okay, so the last part is just a funny ... He would be in all the churches where He is being preached.)

*Furthermore, I have nothing against either party ... and I certainly feel we as Christians should be involved, have a voice, but when we start acting like "our" party (which is whatever one "we" are in, of course!) is "God's Party" then we are being a little stupid and off track.

John 3:16 "For God so LOVED THE WORLD that He gave His only Son that WHOSOEVER believes in HIM should NOT perish, but have everlasting LIFE."

Roll With It

/

I just returned home from my 2nd Annual Motorcycle Ride to Eureka Springs, Arkansas with 3 of my good friends (Brandon Hollis, Scott Sidebottom and Orin Borgelt.) We had an awesome time, though not without mishaps (no one hurt!)

Thankfully we didn't get rained on, amazing we just so happen to be either ahead of the rain, or behind it at all times ... crazy actually with all the clouds in the sky this week, but it all worked out.

Nothing in life is without incident though, the throttle cable on Brandon's bike actually snapped, but thankfully we were not in a remote part of Arkansas when it happened, and thank God for AAA. His bike ended up being towed to a great motorcycle repair shop YOUNG BLOOD'S MOTORCYCLE REPAIR in Harrison, Arkansas just off 7 HWY (870) 688-5381 ... which was only 18 miles from where we broke down, they fixed it and we were on our way in about an hour.

We made it back to our little lodging place in Eureka for a great night sleep and a great movie True Lies, the star is non-other than the Governor of California. Great acting ... cough, cough! Then woke up the next day for the ride home.

The ride home was beautiful, the roads were curvy, the weather was amazing! We stop in Baxter Springs, Kansas to eat at the Cafe on the Route and had the famous Nut Crusted Catfish with Fried Potato Salad and for dessert Fried Cheesecake ... wow! Amazing.

So we are just 30 minutes from home when my bike started choking on my, coughing and sputtering and spitting. Pulled off in the turnabouts Highway Patrol uses to radar ya ... and noticed that my External Air-filter had blown off, so air, and dust was flying right into my carburetor which isn't good. I couldn't get it started. We went back up the road a mile or two to see if we could find the filter ... no luck, it's like finding a needle in a hay stack essentially. Long story short my Dad came and picked me up, and I had Brandon and Orin go on, no point in waiting with me.

While I sat there just south of Louisburg on 69 HWY another Biker driving by stopped to hang out with me until me Dad arrive with the truck to tow me home. It was fun! My bike is fine, just needed carb cleaned out and a new filter put on.

Lesson Learned:

Life doesn't always go as planned, and when it doesn't just roll with it. The trip wasn't ruined just because we had some mishaps. Actually the mishaps have made for great conversations and memories. I also learned to make sure the air filter is on tight!

Gracious Theology

/
I, like many pastors and religious teachers, have a theological position; which is what we believe about God, the Bible and Religious Faith in general. And we all differ a bit here and there.

Augustine of Hippo defined the Latin equivalent, theologia, as "reasoning or discussion concerning the Deity."

In my 20 years of ministry I have become more and more gracious in my Theology (study of God.) I would say that GOD crawled out of the BOX that I had Him in years ago.

I find it strange that we humans have God all figured out. I think we should be a bit uncomfortable when we think we’ve got God and his ways confined to a humanly derived theological system of thinking. We have constructed a systematic theology that we feel good about, or can defend rather then allowing ourselves to follow a mysterious, frustrating, seemingly contradictory God who “sent us His spirit” to lead us into the knowledge of truth ... and we do this by living by faith. Mind you, I love theology, I love to study, debate, ask questions ... I guess over the years I haven't had to have all the answers anymore.

I will be honest, I have an answer to most questions because I am opinionated (my wife can tell ya!) But my heart always speaks up within me and reminds me that I am not all-knowing!

So, there you go ... I am not God, nor are you.

Contentment

/

1 Timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain."

Dictionary: Contentment is the experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation.

This is probably the hardest thing for me, to be content. I feel it is okay to "not be satisfied" but we should be content. And I often feel the tension of what I want, or where I want to be vs where I am, which isn't where I want to be ... at least how I had it in my mind. Then there is that famous quote "Enjoy the journey on your way to your destination" that rings in my head often, as it should.

Where we get it wrong is in a few areas I believe; 1) Our definition of "success" and 2) Knowing what really is important and then 3) Realizing that the journey is going to suck even when you arrive to your destination if you don't decide to enjoy it. And finally 4) Comparing ourselves with others.

1) Success - What is success in your mind? What does it look like, feel like, etc. This is what I really had to work on; deciding, or knowing, what is "success" for me ... I then realized, I was and am very successful. For me, loving God, having a wonderful wife, wonderful kids, our health, food to eat, roof over my head, a career I loved, and friends to share it all with ... that was and is success for me. All the other stuff are side issues.

2) Important - Once I defined this for me ... made all the difference.

3) Journey - what is the point if I am only going to be happy, or content "when I get there" wherever that is? The journey is the longest portion of life ... the destination is what we spend our life heading toward. So to enjoy the journey is to enjoy all of life.

4) Comparing - The thing is, I am not on "their" journey. I am on "my" journey ... so it doesn't matter about them, what they got, what they did, or where they are - it's about being where God wants me, doing what He wants me doing. I compare WAY TOO much!

Enjoy the Journey ... those around you will appreciate that so much more!