Religious Guilt

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I often talk about Forgiveness and how important it is to forgive those who have wronged, and/or hurt us. Whoever that may be; parents, siblings, relatives, co-worker, boss, friend, church member, an organization … etc. If we hold onto the pain then it only hinders our development on so many levels. When we can forgive and let go of the bitterness we are then freeing ourselves of the pain.

There is another side to this that I have not spoken of very much and wanted to address it here; and that is the whole “religious guilt” deal. We’ve got to be able to forgive OURSELVES too! Forgiveness isn’t something we just do to others to free ourselves, but it is something that we do to ourselves to free ourselves. Example: Maybe your past is like mine, full of very un-Christ-like behavior like drug use, sexual promiscuity, and all sorts of junk? And you feel guilty for the way you lived, or for what you’ve done. You may even feel that God can’t forgive you, or can’t love you because of what you did? And you feel that God does love others more because they haven’t done what you’ve done?

Listen, I’ve been there. I have in years past struggled with forgiving myself of some sinful things … I knew that God forgave me, but I couldn’t really receive it, nor could I forgive myself and let myself be fully loved by God because of what I’ve done that I felt so bad about. Does that resonate with you? Do you struggle letting God in, or other people because of your past (or maybe it’s not even the past … maybe it’s your life now?)

1 John 1: 9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action].

Just GOOGLE “Scriptures on forgiveness” and you can find all the Bible verses on it … read them daily!

And can I just add here … no one deserves God’s forgiveness, this is what makes it a gift … that is GOD’S GRACE and MERCY at work … receive it, even for your own sins and shortcoming!

God bless!

The Bridge

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I was recently asked, “How can a loving God send anyone to Hell?”

Great question! First, I must say that I am answering this based upon limited personal human knowledge. But this is how I understand scripture. Let me explain it like this; if I built a bridge that connected California to Hawaii (I know, I know … just work with me here) and it’s the only bridge that takes a person from California to Hawaii and I built it because I love people. Now, there are many bridges, but only one that leads to Hawaii, which is where I want to go.

And as the builder of the bridge I write (and or inspire others to write) a book, a manual of sorts with all the necessary details about the bridges history, how it was built, stories that further illustrate the bridges importance, the sacrifices made in building it, people experiences with me while building the bridge, and peoples experience using the bridge, etc. And this book was written by several of the people who were a part of the making of this bridge, people who were eyewitnesses of it construction … people who knew the story. And that book went around the world and was translated into many languages so that the world knew that there was this bridge, the only one of its kind, leading people from California to Hawaii. A story that told you how loving I was, and why I built the bridge and how I longed for you to find the bridge and use it to get to Hawaii.

Now, some people have tried to deny the bridges existence, but if you ask them if they’ve seen it, of course they haven’t … they’ve seen pictures, but “they could be fakes”, they say. Others haven’t seen the bridge either, but choose to believe it’s there because of concrete evidence.

There have been many people who have used the bridge … but there are no phones on the other side, so once you cross over you can’t call back to confirm. But when you cross over you meet the ME, the builder of the bridge, and I welcome you and say aren’t you glad you found the bridge. And I explain to you that I built this bridge for EVERYONE to use! But unfortunately some people just refuse, saying they want to do it themselves, or that they’ve heard there are many bridges … but again, unfortunately, I am the only one qualified to build this bridge and if you want to go from California to Hawaii this is it. And the bridge is FREE! There is no fee, no toll, no tax … it’s a FREE gift pass.

There are holes in this analogy, I know … but can you see that even logically when we think of it like that you can see that God sent Jesus to pay the price for our sins, and to give us eternal life. He is the only one who has done that … and He did it for you and for me. Now you have a choice whether to believe that or reject that … it’s your choice. As builder of the bridge I do not turn anyone away from the bridge, actually I have done everything in my power to get everyone to take its path. But again, the choice is yours! I beg you, chose the bridge Jesus Christ!

Bible Reading Plan - Weeks 11 & 12

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Week 11

March 12
Deuteronomy 3-4

March 13
Deuteronomy 5-7

March 14
Deuteronomy 8-10

March 15
Deuteronomy 11-13

March 16
Deuteronomy 14-16

March 17
Deuteronomy 17-20

March 18
Deuteronomy 21-23

Week 12

March 19
Deuteronomy 24-27

March 20
Deuteronomy 28-29

March 21
Deuteronomy 30-31

March 22
Deuteronomy 32-34 & Psalm 91

March 23
Joshua 1-4

March 24
Joshua 5-8

March 25
Joshua 9-11

The Struggle

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I think if we are honest we all “struggle” with something; whether its dealing with in-laws, or depression, anxiety, lust, fear, anger, rebellion, hatred, bitterness, gossip, lying, stealing, resentment, judgment, selfishness, greed, etc.

I use the word “struggle” loosely … because some do not actually “struggle” they “give in”, therefore there is no “struggle” going on. When I say “struggle” I am thinking of the person who is engaged in an actual fight against the thing that is trying to destroy their life … taking an offensive stance rather then just giving in to the whims of desire or feelings that lurk in us all.

I think this is the victory we have is that we do struggle, we do fight, we do war within … if you are not “struggling” then you are either dead (which would be weird that you can access the internet) or you have just given into whatever your flesh desires to do. This is what gets people in trouble. Right? Like the guy who desires women, lots of women, and rather than fight the good fight of faith and be true to his one and only, he “gives up the struggle” and indulges himself in a woman other than his wife. Then the trouble begins.

We are all capable of this! Myself included! I think most men I know … if they were honest … wouldn’t be opposed to having Solomon’s problem of having hundreds of wives. It’s just not legal!

I celebrate 15 years in just a couple months and I have not had an affair, but it’s not because I am intrinsically different or better or more spiritual then those who have. I have thoughts, desires and temptations like any other person on the planet … I think the difference is “I struggle”! I fight against those desires that lurk within … those feelings that are leading me away from what is good and right!

So I challenge you to join me in the STRUGGLE against SIN! Live HOLY! And if you do – EVERYONE WINS!

What If ...

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Q: What would be the 10 things (plus one) you would do if you won $1,000,000.00 cash today, tax free?

Here is what I would do:

1) Write our tithe/offering check to my local church (Mercy Church) for $150,000.00.
2) Research a ministry or program to invest in … or start our own ministry to help hurting children and families - $100,000.00.
3) Set aside $200,000 in a trust fund for kids college .
4) Refinance house and put $100,000 down … to bring monthly payment down.
5) Pay off both vehicles - $17,000.00.
6) Pay off Dentist bill (all the families root canals and crowns) - $5,000.00.
7) Invest in our future – not sure where or what … that would be a matter of prayer. - $250,000.00.
8) Finally take the family trip we’ve always wanted to take and haven’t cause of money – Disney World in Orlando Florida - $3000.00.
9) Take a tour of the Holy Land - $5,000.00.
10) Build an office library in our house - $10,000.00 (we have a “reading room” in our house (10X12), which is one of the reasons we bought the house, and it’s unfurnished and just sits empty … we’d like to fully furnish it (desk, reading chairs, etc.) and line the 2 available walls with custom wood bookshelves floor to ceiling for the hundreds of books we have piled around.


Plus one: Put the $160,000 left over in a high interest money market account.

How you answer this question tells a lot about you ... and of course the true test is if what you say is what you really truly would do if you were given $1 million... so be honest here! Here is the reality ... if you don't give your church $100 out of your $1000 paycheck ... there's a pretty good chance you wouldn't give $100,000... "...to whom much is given much is required..."

Holy Week Challenge

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As many of you may know we are currently in the midst of the season of Lent. Lent is a time of self reflection, sacrifice, fasting, soul searching and spiritual renewal as we approach Easter Sunday which is on April 12th.

As I have been doing my own reflecting I felt compelled to issue a challenge to the congregation I serve and the city we live in, Kansas City, to LIVE HOLY THE WEEK OF HOLY WEEK. (April 6 - 12)

Unfortunately “living holy” can and often means different things to different people, so allow me to clarify.

I am not referring to non-biblical rules that the church often imposes on it’s congregants like NO Drinking, NO Dancing, NO rated “R” movies, NO reading Harry Potter or any other ridiculous man-made “religious” rule that we thought would get God to like us more. I was raised in that legalistic culture years ago and now see why so many people no longer attend church.

Leviticus 11:44 “For I am the LORD your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy.” - NASB

When I say “LIVE HOLY” I am referring to 3 things that, if not all at least one, will make sense to you I am sure:


1) Keep the 10 Commandments

ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.' TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.' THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.' FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.' FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.' SIX: 'You shall not murder.' SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.' EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.' NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.' TEN: 'You shall not covet…’

2) Live by the Golden Rule

Matthew 7:12 "So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the Law and the prophets." - RSV

3) Love your Neighbor as yourself

Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments”

I am fully convinced that if we will commit to live holy the week of Holy Week it will not only impact us personally but also our churches, our friends, our neighbors, our cities and the world we live in.

On a very practical level let me give a bit more detail; the bible clearly states that we should “obey the laws of the land” as long as they do not hinder us from serving Christ, so included in this challenge is for us to live as law abiding citizens … no speeding (something I gotta work on – lol!), wear your seatbelt, if you have had too much to drink call a Taxi or a friend to drive you home, etc. I can feel some of you rolling your eyes … listen if you are a weak sissy and unable to take the challenge to Live Holy for one week then fine be a sissy!

Here’s the deal… if every person in Kansas City would do this it would be like utopia … like Heaven … everyone caring, giving and loving … it would be awesome!

Wouldn’t it be cool to see crime stand still for one week?

**Please forward this blog to everyone you know!

A Happy Marriage

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I have been working with couples for 15 years and I think I see a common denominator to why couples struggle; expectations!

Either one, or the other or both have:

1) Unrealistic expectations. (i.e. we are going to have sex everyday and it will be just like the movies)

2) Un-met expectations. (i.e. he will be romantic and sweet after we are married because that is what he was like while we were dating)

Both of these issues can be resolved with open and honest communication. Also there must be understanding, compromise, and love present in order for the marriage to be healthy, happy and fulfilling.

A marriage isn’t about just “getting your way all the time” … it’s about sharing and caring and giving. Our culture promotes selfishness, greed, and hatred which are all marriage killers.

Here is the key to a life-long happy fulfilling marriage … seriously if you and your spouse can agree to this, then you will be so happy you won’t even know what to do with yourself … you ready to hear it?

Love your spouse, serve them and give to them selflessly everyday … make it your job to make them the happiest most loved person on the planet!

Now, let’s be honest – that’s easier said then done, and we are talking about 2 people here … both must participate! Also, having a healthy self-image is very important too!

I wish you love!

Happily Ever After

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What does it take to make a marriage work?

How can two people change over the years and yet not grow a part?

How can two people grow more and more in love over the years?

How can a marriage be meaningful, passionate and mutually fulfilling?

Why do some marriages work and others don’t?

How do you keep sex in a marriage exciting?


There are answers to all these questions … and you can find the answers in our “It’s a Wonderful Marriage” series on iTunes (search mercy church KC) and on our site.

I will also tackle some of these questions here on my blog over the next few days!

For those of you reading this right now and thinking; I am unhappily married, is there hope for me and my marriage? Yes there is … there is always HOPE!