Holy Week Challenge

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As many of you may know we are currently in the midst of the season of Lent. Lent is a time of self reflection, sacrifice, fasting, soul searching and spiritual renewal as we approach Easter Sunday which is on April 12th.

As I have been doing my own reflecting I felt compelled to issue a challenge to the congregation I serve and the city we live in, Kansas City, to LIVE HOLY THE WEEK OF HOLY WEEK. (April 6 - 12)

Unfortunately “living holy” can and often means different things to different people, so allow me to clarify.

I am not referring to non-biblical rules that the church often imposes on it’s congregants like NO Drinking, NO Dancing, NO rated “R” movies, NO reading Harry Potter or any other ridiculous man-made “religious” rule that we thought would get God to like us more. I was raised in that legalistic culture years ago and now see why so many people no longer attend church.

Leviticus 11:44 “For I am the LORD your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy.” - NASB

When I say “LIVE HOLY” I am referring to 3 things that, if not all at least one, will make sense to you I am sure:


1) Keep the 10 Commandments

ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.' TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.' THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.' FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.' FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.' SIX: 'You shall not murder.' SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.' EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.' NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.' TEN: 'You shall not covet…’

2) Live by the Golden Rule

Matthew 7:12 "So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the Law and the prophets." - RSV

3) Love your Neighbor as yourself

Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments”

I am fully convinced that if we will commit to live holy the week of Holy Week it will not only impact us personally but also our churches, our friends, our neighbors, our cities and the world we live in.

On a very practical level let me give a bit more detail; the bible clearly states that we should “obey the laws of the land” as long as they do not hinder us from serving Christ, so included in this challenge is for us to live as law abiding citizens … no speeding (something I gotta work on – lol!), wear your seatbelt, if you have had too much to drink call a Taxi or a friend to drive you home, etc. I can feel some of you rolling your eyes … listen if you are a weak sissy and unable to take the challenge to Live Holy for one week then fine be a sissy!

Here’s the deal… if every person in Kansas City would do this it would be like utopia … like Heaven … everyone caring, giving and loving … it would be awesome!

Wouldn’t it be cool to see crime stand still for one week?

**Please forward this blog to everyone you know!

A Happy Marriage

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I have been working with couples for 15 years and I think I see a common denominator to why couples struggle; expectations!

Either one, or the other or both have:

1) Unrealistic expectations. (i.e. we are going to have sex everyday and it will be just like the movies)

2) Un-met expectations. (i.e. he will be romantic and sweet after we are married because that is what he was like while we were dating)

Both of these issues can be resolved with open and honest communication. Also there must be understanding, compromise, and love present in order for the marriage to be healthy, happy and fulfilling.

A marriage isn’t about just “getting your way all the time” … it’s about sharing and caring and giving. Our culture promotes selfishness, greed, and hatred which are all marriage killers.

Here is the key to a life-long happy fulfilling marriage … seriously if you and your spouse can agree to this, then you will be so happy you won’t even know what to do with yourself … you ready to hear it?

Love your spouse, serve them and give to them selflessly everyday … make it your job to make them the happiest most loved person on the planet!

Now, let’s be honest – that’s easier said then done, and we are talking about 2 people here … both must participate! Also, having a healthy self-image is very important too!

I wish you love!

Happily Ever After

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What does it take to make a marriage work?

How can two people change over the years and yet not grow a part?

How can two people grow more and more in love over the years?

How can a marriage be meaningful, passionate and mutually fulfilling?

Why do some marriages work and others don’t?

How do you keep sex in a marriage exciting?


There are answers to all these questions … and you can find the answers in our “It’s a Wonderful Marriage” series on iTunes (search mercy church KC) and on our site.

I will also tackle some of these questions here on my blog over the next few days!

For those of you reading this right now and thinking; I am unhappily married, is there hope for me and my marriage? Yes there is … there is always HOPE!

Masturbation

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Disclaimer: I have been getting numerous questions on the subject of “masturbation”, so I will address it here for you the best I know how at this point in my life.

Let me be transparent you by giving you a little personal history before I give you my biblical perspective on the very controversial and divided subject of masturbation. And let me tell ya … there are people who feel very very strongly about this subject … I’ve met them, they used to attend Mercy Church.

I was raised in a fundamental denominational church that taught that masturbation was a sin and you should stay away from such evils. I had a youth pastor who told me, “Pray for wet dreams”. God didn’t answer that prayer near as often as I prayed for it!

Let’s just be real honest here … most everyone has masturbated, especially boys when they enter puberty. (I say “most everyone” because there is always one or two that were actually able to abstain due to religious guilt and shame.) Masturbation has helped many a Christian college student keep from fornicating with his girlfriend whom he was not married to.

I have heard good God loving pastors teach that if you can masturbate by simply “massaging” your member without visualizing a particular woman then it’s totally okay. In other words, if you can “masturbate” without lusting, then it’s okay.

I have also heard good God loving pastors say that under no circumstance is masturbating okay … it is sin.

MY THOUGHTS

First let me just something out of the way here because most of this blog is really dealing with singles; if you are married, and if you are away on a trip and masturbate while picturing your wife there is nothing wrong with that at all! But to look at porn (another woman) and masturbate – this is fornication and is sin.

Need I even mention that Porn is sinful? This is something that I hear people try to justify and to be real honest with you; you have just fooled yourself! Sorry I am normally not that harsh, but it’s true … there is nothing about Porn that is Holy, Righteous, Pure and Godly … period! It’s a cesspool that does nothing good in a person but breed and feed ungoldy lust!

Okay, so back to the big “M” word; I think that for many a Christian guy (I can only speak for guys) masturbation has help them to satisfy a natural God-given desire until they can get married and have sex. Though again, only if done correctly – without lust! This is where it’s difficult; so how do you masturbate without lust in your heart?

I don’t know … how do you have sex with your wife without lust in your heart?
We must differentiate between lust and sexual desire. To desire sex IS NOT SIN! To WANT SEX is not sin! We must keep it within the standards that God has established.

I received an email regarding sex the other day from someone , and the gist of the email was that they thought sex outside marriage was fine for them ya da ya da. The danger here is when WE start defining what is right and right in our own heads and forget God's moral code in scripture.

I recently heard an interview with a man in prison who molested little girls, he didn’t see anything wrong with his actions, and he had justified his own actions in his mind. He liked little girls … and he acted on his desires. He was deceived. Here is the deal, even if it’s some behavior between “consenting adults” doesn’t make it okay if God says it’s not okay. Can you see the deception in that? Can you see the danger if everyone lived that way? Actually, they do and this is one reason our world is so messed up! People living by their own rules. Just like Eve thinking there was nothing wrong with eating from the tree that God had said not to eat from. Enticed by the "forbidden fruit".

Bottom line: Masturbation is not sin! Lust is sin! There is no scripture I have found that directly addresses the area of masturbation and as a teacher of God’s word I can not and will not be adamant and take sides when the Bible is very vague if not silent.

I encourage you to really search your heart. I believe that some things like “M” can be sin for one person and not sin for another person. Does that make sense? Like for me, too much TV is a sin. Now, the Bible doesn’t call it sin, but for me it steals time away from my family, thus it is sin for me!

Search your heart and see if there is anything good coming from masturbating for you? Honestly, I am not assuming there is or isn’t. It’s a question for you to answer honestly.

Timmy, are you leaving this up to me to figure out? Yes I am! I have confidence in your ability to hear God and get clear insight to help you make a decision that is right for you and your walk with God.

I think we all wish that the Bible was more clear on many issues and said things like, “my dearly beloved, thou shalt not touch thine own pee pee for an extended amount of time unless you are washing it.”

Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Millionaire

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This morning Jana and I were getting the kids ready for school and fixing their lunches and I was giving them my usual “you can do and become anything” motivational speech. And Shaeylea said, “Can I become a millionaire?” I said, “Absolutely! If you’ll do what millionaires do.”

I then saw this look in her eye that said … “so Dad why aren’t you doing what millionaires do?” So I said before she coulds actually ask the question outloud, “Honey you don’t become a millionaire spending what you make, living right at your means …”. I must admit her look got me thinking; so, why don’t we do what millionaires do? Why don’t we live below our means, invest, invent something, write a New York Best Seller, start a computer software company called "Gibson-soft", or create a cool computer and call it "Orange" and the logo would just be an orange with a bite out of it, or something like that?

Then Jana blurted out, “at least we are thousandaires!” We all fell on the floor laughing! Yes, if we combined all our money together … we’d have a thousand dollars! We laughed so hard over that!

Moving on … I have no aspirations of being a millionaire so I can drive a new car, get a bigger house, or have expensive things (nothing wrong with those things) … I just want to be able to give more, help more, do more for others. Honestly, I want to be able to do more for others. The thought of living my life and sitting in the rocking chair at the end of my life and I only lived for me, and only provided for me, and didn't leave a real lasting mark on this earth ... that would be a very sad day for me!

I’ve said it before, but it bares repeating - if I personally was to win the lottery (which I don’t play) and get a million dollars right now, nothing would change for us, except the church would get at least $100,000 the next day and we’d have money in the bank for both the kid’s college, and both our cars would be paid off, etc. etc. Other than a few things like that nothing would change … I wouldn’t quit my job, we wouldn’t move, we wouldn’t buy new cars, we wouldn’t buy any jewelry, we wouldn’t buy fancy clothes … life would be pretty much the same.

So what am I trying to say here; whatever you desire in life you must make sure that your actions are taking you there. What do you desire?

“If you really want to get to Mount Olympus, just make sure that every step you take is in that direction” - Socrates

Sit down this week and evaluate your life … are your actions taking you where you want to go? In your marriage? In your finances? In your career? In your health?

Marijuana

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As most of you reading this know I will sometimes blog some very random things ... Let me confess that usually I will blog as a result of my random thoughts and other times I blog as a result of questions I have received from people who find out I am a pastor, then lastly I will blog what is on my heart (usually God inspired … I hope!).

Okay, so I had a dude approach me the other day and ask me, “dude, so you are a pastor … can you tell me if smoking marijuana is a sin?”

After I chuckled and realized he was serious I said, “The Bible says that we are to obey the laws of the land as long as they do not keep us from serving God. So, since Marijuana is illegal, then YES it is a sin to smoke and I recommend you quit smoking it”.

Then he said, “well … what if it was legal … could I smoke it then?” I said, “it’s not though … so that is just hypothetical … and I am not sure Willie Nelson will be able to get it legalized in his lifetime ... sorry bro”.

There you go, my spiritual insights on smoking pot.

Boob Implants & Tattoos

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I know this is a funny blog entry title; but I woke up this morning thinking of a story with a lesson that you will just enjoy hearing, I think… I hope.

First, those who know me know that though I have tattoos I have no boob implants and have no future plans to get any. LOL!

Here is my story: On vacation this past year Jana and I met a “Christian” girl who obviously had boob implants and she actually began to share with us how that tattoos (which I have, and with my shirt off on the beach are obvious ... my shirt was off at the time) were sinful and that to mark up God’s temple was a sin.

I stood there with my jaw on the sand in amazement at her stupid theology and at her hypocrisy as well. Of course the argumentative side of me wanted to engage in a theological debate with proper Hermeneutical tactics I learned in Bible College to help her see her hypocritical heresy. I refrained! I just stood there and smiled with the love of Jesus!

Isn’t this what we as Christians do to those in the world around us? Judging them wrongly, and not even aware of our own hypocrisy.

First, incase you are wondering; there is nothing wrong with tattoos! And there is nothing wrong with boob implants! Those are the simple answers to complicated questions really … of course WHY you are getting tattoos or boob implants is important to understand. Are you insecure? Are you trying to hide behind something? Are you trying to cover up something? Or, do you just want them?

I read a psychological report on “WHY people get tattoos” onetime and for some people all that the doctor said may be the case, but not everyone is the same. You can’t say because one person does it for "this reason" that everyone does it for "this reason". For me, I got tattoos because I like them. Period. Many girls Jana & I know who got boob implants because they wanted bigger boobs (or their husband did … lol!) or they wanted to correct an imperfection.

I think its human nature for us to “assume” or to view other people through our own filter; meaning, if I do something for a certain reason then anyone that does it does it for the same reason. This is just stupid … and we are ALL guilty of doing it.

I think we would do well to remember what Jesus said; Matt 7:2-5 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged [if we judge with an evil heart or dark intent, His judgment of us will reflect it; if we judge nobly and honestly, His judgment of us will reflect that, too], and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you [if we use extremes or exaggerations or other unfair means, our judgment will reflect it]. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye [point out his sins, "minor" in Jesus' example here] and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye [our own sins, even and especially those we will not admit, magnified by our selective blindness]? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' [tell him of his "minor" sins] when all the time there is a plank in your own eye [that there are greater or the same sins in our own lives which we do nothing about or think we are above]? You hypocrite* [pointing out the sins of others while by pretense we think of ourselves as above sin], first take the plank out of your own eye [sincerely ask the Lord for forgiveness and learn and live the Truth and Light by His Word], and then you will see clearly [be in a righteous position] to remove the speck from your brother's eye [to judge and to help him out of his bondage to sin]."