Let me be transparent you by giving you a little personal history before I give you my biblical perspective on the very controversial and divided subject of masturbation. And let me tell ya … there are people who feel very very strongly about this subject … I’ve met them, they used to attend Mercy Church.
I was raised in a fundamental denominational church that taught that masturbation was a sin and you should stay away from such evils. I had a youth pastor who told me, “Pray for wet dreams”. God didn’t answer that prayer near as often as I prayed for it!
Let’s just be real honest here … most everyone has masturbated, especially boys when they enter puberty. (I say “most everyone” because there is always one or two that were actually able to abstain due to religious guilt and shame.) Masturbation has helped many a Christian college student keep from fornicating with his girlfriend whom he was not married to.
I have heard good God loving pastors teach that if you can masturbate by simply “massaging” your member without visualizing a particular woman then it’s totally okay. In other words, if you can “masturbate” without lusting, then it’s okay.
I have also heard good God loving pastors say that under no circumstance is masturbating okay … it is sin.
First let me just something out of the way here because most of this blog is really dealing with singles; if you are married, and if you are away on a trip and masturbate while picturing your wife there is nothing wrong with that at all! But to look at porn (another woman) and masturbate – this is fornication and is sin.
Need I even mention that Porn is sinful? This is something that I hear people try to justify and to be real honest with you; you have just fooled yourself! Sorry I am normally not that harsh, but it’s true … there is nothing about Porn that is Holy, Righteous, Pure and Godly … period! It’s a cesspool that does nothing good in a person but breed and feed ungoldy lust!
Okay, so back to the big “M” word; I think that for many a Christian guy (I can only speak for guys) masturbation has help them to satisfy a natural God-given desire until they can get married and have sex. Though again, only if done correctly – without lust! This is where it’s difficult; so how do you masturbate without lust in your heart?
I don’t know … how do you have sex with your wife without lust in your heart?
We must differentiate between lust and sexual desire. To desire sex IS NOT SIN! To WANT SEX is not sin! We must keep it within the standards that God has established.
I received an email regarding sex the other day from someone , and the gist of the email was that they thought sex outside marriage was fine for them ya da ya da. The danger here is when WE start defining what is right and right in our own heads and forget God's moral code in scripture.
I recently heard an interview with a man in prison who molested little girls, he didn’t see anything wrong with his actions, and he had justified his own actions in his mind. He liked little girls … and he acted on his desires. He was deceived. Here is the deal, even if it’s some behavior between “consenting adults” doesn’t make it okay if God says it’s not okay. Can you see the deception in that? Can you see the danger if everyone lived that way? Actually, they do and this is one reason our world is so messed up! People living by their own rules. Just like Eve thinking there was nothing wrong with eating from the tree that God had said not to eat from. Enticed by the "forbidden fruit".
Bottom line: Masturbation is not sin! Lust is sin! There is no scripture I have found that directly addresses the area of masturbation and as a teacher of God’s word I can not and will not be adamant and take sides when the Bible is very vague if not silent.
I encourage you to really search your heart. I believe that some things like “M” can be sin for one person and not sin for another person. Does that make sense? Like for me, too much TV is a sin. Now, the Bible doesn’t call it sin, but for me it steals time away from my family, thus it is sin for me!
Search your heart and see if there is anything good coming from masturbating for you? Honestly, I am not assuming there is or isn’t. It’s a question for you to answer honestly.
Timmy, are you leaving this up to me to figure out? Yes I am! I have confidence in your ability to hear God and get clear insight to help you make a decision that is right for you and your walk with God.
I think we all wish that the Bible was more clear on many issues and said things like, “my dearly beloved, thou shalt not touch thine own pee pee for an extended amount of time unless you are washing it.”
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”