One of the things most feared in life is not the fear of
being alone, but rather being vulnerable! See, if I let you into my heart, you
might not like me; therefore, I keep that all zipped up.
I think ‘vulnerability’ is possibly the biggest roadblock to
two people achieving a vibrant healthy relationship. How can anyone really know
someone if they don’t really know them? And how can anyone know you when you
are not vulnerable? And how can anyone really love you if they don’t even know
you? They can’t! I think we may hide so much that we aren’t even sure who we
I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage, and although
we’ve had a fabulous and even passionate marriage, we’ve had to really
work on this whole ‘vulnerability’ piece. There’s no better way, for me, to
share this than to just give you an example of vulnerability in action.
I don’t like asking for sexual contact. I just want Jana to
want me. And if I’m honest, to really want me ALL the time! (Just sayin’
-- it’s a guy thing!!) And when I “want it,” I want Jana to just know
it sub-consciously without me having to ask. Women do this all the time, too
… expecting a husband to just know what she wants when she wants it
without her having to mention it. But it doesn’t work that way. Back to my
example ... So often when I didn’t get what I wanted, I would pout and stew
about it. Until finally, I got vulnerable and had a great talk about it. I
learned to be vulnerable and ask. It was difficult for me to be really
vulnerable with my sexuality and share my feelings, needs, wants, desires, etc.
What about you? What things make you mad or upset because
really you are afraid to just be vulnerable and talk openly about it?
Side note: When someone is being vulnerable with you
… LISTEN with both ears and be very sympathetic and empathetic to really HEAR
what they are sharing! Your relationship will go to higher heights! I promise!!
I want to accomplish one thing in my life, besides being a great husband, a great father and having a great head of hair! And that one thing is to help people have healthier happier relationships!