I. COMMUNICATION 101
1) Tell your partner what you need, even if it’s DIFFICULT.
2) SHARE your feelings as they come up.
3) Postpone problem solving until AFTER you feel connected.
4) Complain without CRITICIZING.
5) Look for the LONGING in each other’s complaints.
II. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION PRACTICES or HEALTHY WAYS TO COMPLAIN.
1) Share RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.
DON'T: Blame the problem on the other person.
2) Describe the PROBLEM in terms of your perception, opinion or style.
DON'T: Describe the problem as a matter of absolute truth.
3) Focus on specific problem, tackling ONE at a time.
DON'T: Stockpile complaints.
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*Material taken from Dr. John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work