Confessions of a Pastor – 9 of 10

My Confession: I want to do bad things!

I have had many pastors and parishioners, tell me that they so appreciate my candor and my courage to be so honest and open about my humanity. Can I just be honest here and say I do appreciate it, but I don’t look at it as courageous actually; it’s just me being honest with myself; which is where I think it starts. Maybe I should be more proud of it, but it’s just who I am … if I was any other way, then it wouldn’t be me.

People often ask me; “Timmy if you struggle like me, and want to do bad things, how do you keep from doing them?” Great question! I am not always 100% successful with this, but this is what keeps me from ruining my life.

There are a few things I have learned over my 30 plus years as a Christian:
1) I can feed the good in me or…
2) I can feed the bad in me… what I look at, read, listen to, watch, and hear, what I do, where I go and who I go with will either feed and encourage good behavior or feed and encourage bad behavior.

A third thing I have learned is that you can not have secrets! I heard a message from Ted Haggard about this very subject, but apparently he did not practice what he preached. Very unfortunate! Seriously, I can see how this can be difficult, but it can be done if you surround yourself with the right people! This is key!

There have been times in my life I have had secrets, and it’s easy to convince yourself to keep them secret and they slowly eat away at you until one day they will eat you up. At this point in my life, and I hope its forever, I have no secrets. My wife along with three close friends know everything there is to know about me, my weaknesses, my strengths, my struggles, my victories, my fears, my inner desires, and my temptations.

I can not stress this enough … do not have dark places in your life, they will one day destroy you.