Confessions of a Pastor – 9 of 10

My Confession: I want to do bad things!

I have had many pastors and parishioners, tell me that they so appreciate my candor and my courage to be so honest and open about my humanity. Can I just be honest here and say I do appreciate it, but I don’t look at it as courageous actually; it’s just me being honest with myself; which is where I think it starts. Maybe I should be more proud of it, but it’s just who I am … if I was any other way, then it wouldn’t be me.

People often ask me; “Timmy if you struggle like me, and want to do bad things, how do you keep from doing them?” Great question! I am not always 100% successful with this, but this is what keeps me from ruining my life.

There are a few things I have learned over my 30 plus years as a Christian:
1) I can feed the good in me or…
2) I can feed the bad in me…

...by what I look at, read, listen to, watch, and hear, what I do, where I go and who I go with will either feed and encourage good behavior or feed and encourage bad behavior.

A third thing I have learned is that you can not have secrets! I heard a message from Ted Haggard about this very subject, but apparently he did not practice what he preached. Very unfortunate! Seriously, I can see how this can be difficult, but it can be done if you surround yourself with the right people! This is key!

There have been times in my life I have had secrets, and it’s easy to convince yourself to keep them secret and they slowly eat away at you until one day they will eat you up. At this point in my life, and I hope its forever, I have no secrets. My wife along with three close friends know everything there is to know about me, my weaknesses, my strengths, my struggles, my victories, my fears, my inner desires, and my temptations.

I can not stress this enough … do not have dark places in your life, they will one day destroy you.

Confessions of a Pastor – 8 of 10

My Confession: I do not feel successful a lot of times!

Earl Nightingale said that “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal” (or worth while goal). I like that. If you are doing the things that are moving you toward the attainment of your goal today, then you are “successful” even if you are not where you’d like to be yet.

I guess the reason I love that definition is because I am moving in the right direction, but definitely have not reached the desired goal, yet.

I’ve also had a good friend tell me years ago just after graduating Bible College, “Timmy enjoy the journey, and then each day on your way is a success”. I need to remind myself of that every day as of late.

So, no matter where or what you are … have a plan and head in that general direction and each day you will be closer to your goal.

Confess Your Sins Here – 7 of 10

My sermon on Sunday, September 21st was entitled, I Want to do Bad Things.

We talked about the fact that there are many people who carry with them a heavy burden of guilt over some sin they’ve committed, maybe recently or maybe years and years ago and no one knows. Is that you? Do you carry with you guilt from a sin committed that not even those closest to you know about? Well I say, CONFESS IT and be healed!

The Bible says; CONFESS YOUR SINS one to another and you can do it anonymously right here, and we can pray for one another. The bible says in James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed…”

So that is just what I want you to do … click at the bottom of this blog entry on COMMENT and confess your sin. No matter what it is … just post it and I will personally read each one and pray for you!

God bless you!

Confessions of a Pastor – 6 of 10

My Confession: I enjoy hanging out with people who don’t go to church.

One of the joys of my life is getting to hangout with people who don’t go to church. That doesn’t mean they do not love or believe in God, but they are not the typical church-type.

Some “Christians” only want to be around and hangout with other Christians. To that I just say; to each his own. I have trouble with understanding how you can be a light in a dark world when you are never around the world, but whatever.

Just the other night I got to be the Ring Announcer at an MMA Blue Corner Battle. The place was packed (over a 1,000 people there easy), and the drinks were flowing like honey, and the people were happy and having a great time. And in that environment I get to talk to a lot of people, and when they find out I am a pastor they usually have something to confess to me, or repent for the colorful words that just came out of their mouth. But what is so interesting is that they are typically surprised to find me in an environment like that. Like a pastor (a Christ Follower) can’t do fun things, or be in wild environments and have fun. Jana and I were both there together having a blast, and we didn’t have to drink a thing to have a great time (nothing wrong with drinking a little, I am just reporting).

To all my Christian friends, I encourage you to live a little, get to know people, all people, those who believe, those who don’t believe, those who refuse to believe and those who don’t know what to believe. The honest truth for me and Jana is that we truly love people … all people; we just don’t have partiality when it comes down to it. We love our Christian friends, we love our atheist friends, we love our Hindu friends, we love our Gay friends, we try a just love our neighbors as ourselves the best we can … I hope you do too!

John 4:8-9 says, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him."

Confessions of a Pastor – 5 of 10

My confession is: I wanted to knock this pastor over the head and take the keys to his new church building! But then I thought, “What would Jesus do?” and I couldn’t imagine Jesus doing that … so I refrained!

Yesterday I spent a couple hours with Patrick Norris who is the founding Pastor at Life Pointe Church that just had their grand opening of their new building located at 151st and Mur Len (they bought the old Ace Hardware). And can I just say its MTV Cribs cool! Wow, what a great looking space!

The neat thing about our conversation yesterday was it was like two old college roommates catching up after years of life lived. And I was very impressed with his heart and passion for God and people. Not to mention he has a great sense of humor and helped us put together a little video for Sunday service.

It's always enjoyable for me to get to hang with other pastors in the area and hear their vision to touch and change people's lives for the better!

Enjoy your day!

Confessions of a Pastor – 4 of 10

Sometimes I feel __________________!

I think that sometimes people’s view of pastors or clergy is that they are so spiritual that they never have questions, doubts, fears or faults when it comes to things of faith. The reality is that WE DO! But what we do typically is HIDE our questions, doubts, fears and faults, “because we do not want to cause others to stumble”. But we’ve realized that doesn’t work because people have doubts anyway and feel especially “less than spiritual” when they think that they are the only ones with questions, doubts, fears and faults. The truth we all struggle at times. This is why I am a fan of authenticity.

I come from a background that encouraged “fake it till you make it”. And though in certain contexts I believe that we should “fake it till we make it” I do not think we should walk around acting down and out because it’s how we feel. There are times I am having a bad day, but I don’t pout all day long, I “fake it till I make it” … put a smile on my face, throw my shoulders back and take on the day.

There is a time and a place for opening ourselves up to be honest with how we are feeling and what we are going through. So, here are my confessions, like Elijah sometimes I __________.

1 Kings 19:3-4 “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life...”

1) Sometimes I feel DISCOURAGED. (Philippians 1:6)

2) Sometimes I’m in a BAD MOOD for no reason. (Psalms 42:11)

3) Sometimes I don’t want to FORGIVE others. (Matthew 6:14)

4) I am afraid to FAIL. (Psalm 73:26)

5) Sometimes I feel I am not GOOD enough. (Romans 10:3)

Confessions of a Pastor 3 of 10

Confession: Crazy things happen at our house too!

So this morning Jana comes to me and says, “Timmy can you check the breaker for the frig, it’s not working…” So, I run down to flip the breaker … all seems fine to me. I come back up stairs to see that the frig is still off. “Crazy” I think, “it’s only a few years old, how could it just stop working?” I begin to pull the frig away from the wall to make sure it’s plugged in … and as I am pulling it out a little furry creature comes crawling out twitching his nose. And I am thinking, “oh great Mr. Snuggles (Hamster’s name) has chewed the plug … or something underneath …” but then I think, “wait, how is he still alive if that's the case…?”

Sure enough the plug wire has been chewed and is exposed and sparking on the copper water supply tube … it’s a near disaster waiting to happen … its red hot … burning … “dear Lord” I think, “this could have been really bad … this could have started a fire and burned our house down … yikes”. Needless to say we could’ve had Fried Hamster for breakfast as well … we are still trying to figure out how Mr. Snuggles is still alive honestly! Either he had 120 volts of electricity shoot through him, killing him and Jesus raised him from the dead or Hamsters are immune to electric shock? I don’t know, but I’ve touched a bare live wire before and it shot a jolt of tingles through me that made my joints ache… wow!

All that said, we were thanking God that Mr. Snuggles didn’t go on to Heaven, and that our house didn’t catch fire and burn to the ground this morning.

Confessions of a Pastor 2 of 10

MY CONFESSION: Many Christians irritate me.

Yes, I am a pastor, and I am endeavoring to “lead people to a healthy relationship with Christ” NOT create bigoted, right-winged, narrow-minded, hateful, self-righteous, gossipy, grumbling, fake bumper sticker type Christians.

Unfortunately I run into too many of those types of Christians… and to be real honest … I do not hang out with those kinds of Christians. And to be fair, for every one of those I meet, I meet some really great genuine Christ followers. For example, our church (thank God) is full of the later … people, who are not perfect, but have a genuine heart for God, love people, are humble, real, honest, and seeking God’s best for their lives without judging everyone else.

When I look at the life and ministry of Jesus … even He preferred the company and companionship of the “sinner”. I totally understand why!

Years ago (maybe 10 years ago now) I was the type of Christian I now struggle to like. I only had Republican voting Christian friends who listened to Christian radio 24/7. I had no real relationships with anyone other than people who believed like me. I never invited anyone to church … unless it was someone who was already a "christian" and they were looking for a church. I lived in a Christian bubble, surrounded by others just like me. All the activities in my life revolved around everything church, church friends, church sports, church groups, church books, church everything … basically I had no life outside of church... I lived in a safe Christian bubble.

Now, incase someone is hearing something I am not saying here, let me clarify; I think it’s important and fine to surround ourselves with good people (often people from our church) and to be a part of a church community … hello, I encourage this in my church and I believe and teach that everyone on planet earth should attend church every Sunday morning and if you don't go to church something is amiss … BUT if that is ALL that there is to your life and you shut everyone else not like you out you limit your impact on the world around you, you are just POW WOWING with those who are already found (in your little bubble). Sometimes you’ve got to LEAVE THE 99!

Confessions of a Pastor 1 of 10

We kicked off our new September series called Confessions of a Pastor. I barrowed the title from Pastor Craig Groeschel’s book Confessions of a Pastor. He pastors a church in Edmond Oklahoma and although I’ve not read the book, the title grabbed me and it fit this series better than anything I could come up with, so there’s my confession on how I came up with the title.

I must admit, Sunday’s message was one of those Sundays that are like a bad game of Golf. You’re not sure why your swing isn’t swinging right, or what, but it’s just an off day … ever have days like that? … “I wasn’t on my ‘A’ game” as they say. Of course, wouldn’t you know it, after service I received several compliments and I just figured it was a way for people to console me, or they were in Kid’s Life and didn’t actually even hear the message at all … hence the reason they loved it so. Lol!

All that aside, I do think the content of Sunday’s message was great … the presenter (me) just didn’t present well (in my opinion!)

Okay, so we are talking about Confessions of a Pastor … my confessions this Sunday was that I have questions regarding God, the Bible, and Religion just like you do. Who goes to Heaven, who goes to Hell? Is there even a Heaven? Is there a Hell? What did Jesus mean exactly when He said “I am the way, the truth and the life no one comes to the father but through me.”?

We established Sunday that there must be a ruler for which we can measure truth. And that measure, in my opinion, is the Bible. I truly believe with all my heart that the Bible is the basis for understanding all of life (not every aspect of life, but the essence of it). Now, I am aware that there are truths found in many places, not just the Bible. Dah! But, the best place to find direction for our lives here on earth is the Bible.

I know there are some people who thinks that's B.S. (Bull Skunk - that's for you folks who thought I just used a profanity :), and to that person I would say, “I am cool with that ONLY IF you have researched it and after educating yourself on the subject you still feel this way”. The sad truth for those who BELIEVE and those who DO NOT BELIEVE is that sometimes they are simply “believing” something they know nothing about. Christians do this often; I was one of them for years! I believed because it was how I was raised, and how I was raised was right. So I thought. Then I began to read for myself, studying, researching … then I became convinced of the truth on my OWN ACCORD!

I’ve got so much more to say … so stay with me on this journey of discovering God through Confessions of a Pastor!

Crowded Out - 6 of 6

We are talking about "practices" to keep us from Crowding God Out of our lives. So here we are with #5 and the final in the series.

5) Prayer – This is often mis-understood, at least it was to me for many years as a Christian. I always heard stories growing up of saints of old who got up in the wee hours of the morning to earnestly seek the face of God in prayer. And I so wanted to be that “saint of old”. But I found it extremely difficult. Some Christians may think it’s my “lack of true spirituality”, or my “lack of true commitment”, or my being “too carnal”. Who knows, maybe their right?

I read a book back in the 90’s called, Could You Not Tarry One Hour by Larry Lea (he was a famous TV preacher and pastor of a huge church in Texas back in the 80’s 90’s era until he was exposed on Nightline NBC for fraudulent activities. I actually met him personally … he always looked so tall on TV, but he was a very little guy in person). So I read the book and began getting up every morning before school and praying for an hour through the Lord’s Prayer. Sometimes I would fall asleep and wake up an hour later… that’s when the prayer time flew by, but normally I struggled to even find the words to pray (which is where my Pentecostal roots came in handy… cause I could just pray in the spirit for a while).

This went on a couple years, maybe three and it became robotic, hallow, empty, ineffective and unproductive. Plus I found myself becoming self righteous because now “I got up in the wee hours of the mornings and prayed for a whole hour” I am super spiritual, actually I am more spiritual than most people because most people do not do that and I do, therefore I am better than they.

Then I actually heard a sermon early in 2000 that really impacted my spiritual life as it relates to prayer. It freed me from the heavy burden I had carried around about this “wee hours in the morning prayer” stuff and it gave me freedom to pray in a way that is real, fresh, and productive for me, for my spiritual journey. Here is a verse that I now understand …

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”

I had always wondered (with my previous views of prayer) how could I pray without ceasing and hold down a job without being fired. Now I know … pray is just “communicating” with God in whatever way best fits you, your personality, your style, your life, etc. And for me, I pretty much (not always) but pretty much am in an attitude of thoughtful prayers, reflections or meditations all the time. Please, don’t go thinking, “wow Timmy is so awesome!” Cause I’m not (well my wife and kids think I am, but don’t let them fool ya). I am just a regular guy who really loves Jesus and wants to see others find and connect with God in a way that is real and impact-ful for them.

So I challenge you to communicate with God in whatever way fit YOU best!