Why Pastors Have Affairs (3 of 3)

At the end of the day I believe there is absolutely no valid excuse to have an affair. It doesn’t matter how bad the marriage is, how messed up your past is, or how bad your spouse treats you! Period. Because at the end of our life we all stand before all-mighty God and give an account for how WE lived and treated those around us, NO MATTER HOW they treated us! It reminds me of when God came to Adam and said, “Why did you eat of the tree I told you not to eat?” and Adam said, “Eve did it …” ha ha! Basically he was saying, “It wasn’t my fault God, it was her fault.” But that is not how it works, Eve didn’t sit on him and force the fruit down his throat, Adam ate of his own accord. We are accountability for what we do, say and think.

People feel that if they are treated badly, then they can also treat badly. I can’t tell you the number of people I have counseled after an affair and they say something like, “but he wasn’t there for me …” or “she didn’t meet my physical needs …” or some other ‘reason’ for their poor actions. Do we honestly think that is going to make a difference when we stand before God? Like He is going to say, “Oh in that case yes, totally cool you stepped out on the marriage, I didn’t realize she did that … well that explains it … its all good.” No, no no! We are responsible for what WE do not matter what anyone else does to us!

NOW on the other hand, those excuses do give us a little look into the WHOLE story and maybe a glimpse into HOW it got to the point of an affair. It doesn’t justify it or excuse it, but might help explain it. Make sense?