I assume I am officially “middle-aged” now… why do I NOT like the sound of that?! Seriously! I had another friend say, “Man, don’t you hate birthdays?” To which I responded, “No, it’s so much better than the alternative – not having a birthday!” Boom, Ha ha! I truly hope that no matter what I will truly feel what I feel today, that each day is a precious gift from God! Thank you God, seriously! Life is good.
Clarification: Saying, “Life is good!” Doesn't mean that everything in my life is good or always goes well or that nothing bad ever happens, but it’s an attitude of the heart. It might be better said, “God is good, and life is what it is!”
I am thankful to be having a birthday! I am also very thankful to be healthy, somewhat sane, to be married (and happy about it) and she is my first wife (and hopefully my only). I have 2 beautiful healthy children, a job I truly love, friends who are true friends, both my parents are still alive, and a set of grandparents on my Mother’s side too!
There is something weird about the 40’s that is fascinating though. It’s almost like I find myself looking at what I don’t have more than appreciating all that I do have, like the skin on my neck that used to be really tight. Do you do that? I need to stop that. There are some good things that started happening when I hit 40. I started to calm down and began to desire and even appreciate simpler things. I feel the need to remove the clutter, the excess in my life. I want to ENJOY life more, like a good cigar and a good Brandy in the company of good friends, and not just be so busy busy! Things that used to matter to me don’t matter anymore, and the things that are really important, like my hair for example begin to really matter! LMAO (Laugh My Angel Off - the Christian version)! ON a serious note, I mean things like marriage, family, friendships, career (making a difference), doing what I love with those I love, that's what matters. I also have been craving reading time, (that sounded old right there). I also find myself just refusing to stress (still struggle occasionally) but I just don’t have time for it. It does me no good to stress over something I cannot control. I find myself saying more and more, “it is what it is!”
So there you go, I turned 45 today, and I am happy about it, though the thought of 50 only being 5 years away is really weird for me, I've always felt that people who were 50 were old. I am working on changing my thoughts on that!
Over-all I am thrilled with my life up to this point, of course I have things I wish were different, I think that is normal and even if it’s not I still wrestle with it. I am constantly reflecting on how to get where I want to be, and hope to never just settle in and get complacent. I am still eager to not just leave a legacy, but to make a difference.
Bottom line: I would want to be missed if I was gone! Wouldn't you?