A Threesome Will Save Your Marriage

I have single people saying to me all the time, “I am scared to get married because I don’t want to ever get divorced … what if it’s doesn’t work out? How can I know he/she is THE ONE?”

First, there are no guarantees in life or in love! When I married, at 25, I was also a little scared of divorce. Both my parents have been married multiple times, and I didn’t want that! My grandparents went through a divorce too! It’s very scary. I wanted my marriage to last “till death do us part!”

How can you really know? Can you really know? I mean really know, like for sure for sure!?

The straight up honest truth is that you can’t know for sure for sure because you can’t speak for another person, and that is what marriage is … a relationship between two people. And all you can do is make sure you are the person you are to be, and hopefully your partner will do the same!

Marriage is a step of faith! Believing that your heart and their heart will forever be intertwined to never part is what we all hope for … even pray for!  

Let me give you my thought on how to give yourself the best chance to have a forever marriage where divorce will never knock on your hearts door!

1)      Make sure to marry for the right reasons! For LOVE!

a.       Not because you’re pregnant!

b.      Not because you feel obligated!

c.       Not because you are tired of being alone.

d.      Not because there is no one else.

e.      Not for any reason other than, “You want to spend your life with this person!”

 

2)      Do not ever over-look red flags in the relationship.

a.       For example, if you are committed to things of faith, and he isn’t – red flag!

b.      He/she drinks a little too much – red flag

c.       He/she has been married multiple times – red flag

d.      He has had 6,000 jobs in the last 3 months – red flag

e.      He looks at porn, but says he’ll stop when we get married – red flag

f.        She loves to go out with her single friends every weekend – red flag

 

3)      Do not marry thinking you’ll change him/her – you won’t!

 

4)      If you are thinking, “well there is this one thing I hate about him/her” you better get that figured out BEFORE you walk the isle.

 

5)      Do you feel down deep in your gut that he/she is really right for you?

 

6)      Are you compatible?

a.       This is often overlooked because people say, “we’ll grow together over time” … and the truth is probably not!

b.      This means that you have similar interests, vision for life, plan, goals, etc! You both need to be headed in generally the same direction.

 

7)      Don’t settle.

a.       One main reason not to settle is that someday you will meet someone awesome, and since you settled with Joe Loser, now that you have met Joe Perfect, it’s going to be rough. (This of course does not justify leaving your spouse to run off with someone else, duh! I am just saying that if you are not completely sure that you are marrying the right person for you (if you settle), then the right one (or a more compatible person) may come along at another time and create difficulty. And you might be wishing you hadn’t settled.

       It would be like settling for a car that wasn't really the one you really really wanted, but you go ahead and buy it, then a few weeks later the car you really wanted comes along, and it's the same price ... this doesn't mean you will sell your car to run off and buy it, but it will make you wish you had waited for what you really really really wanted! Bottom line, don't settle! Marry because he/she is the right one for you!

      Side note: If he/she is the right one for you ... most everyone close to you will know it too!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Much of what I write is from my own marriage, as well as stories I have heard! I have had couples go through a nasty divorce and they report to me that they had settled! They knew the person wasn’t right for them, but they married them anyway thinking it would all just work out. Or that they were strong enough to just hold it together! Or that “God” would hold them together! Well here is the deal – ONE PERSON cannot hold it all together for very long! Maybe for a season here and there, but not long term! Marriage is a TEAM EFFORT! And of course I feel the perfect TEAM for a marriage is Me, my spouse and GOD! That’s the only kind of three-some I believe in! Ha ha! So there you go; A Threesome Will Save Your Marriage!