Is He The One?
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Great questions we've all be tormented with at various times in our life (of course changing the he to she where appropriate for you)! Let me easy your mind and heart by saying, YES you will meet Mr. Right, I promise! But what you must remember is that finding Mr. Right is more about YOU becoming the right person first!
I believe what leads us down the road of dysfunction and having an unhealthy relationship is our own un-dealt-with brokenness. It’s the reason we often settle for Mr. Wrong, and regret it later. And we usually say, “I knew he wasn’t the one, but …” and that is just it, we make excuses because we down deep feel a since of desperation; what if no one else comes along, then I will be all alone. Here is the reality – it’s much better to be SINGLE then in a relationship with the wrong person! Don’t settle! Look for the RED flags, trust yourself and believe in yourself enough to move on.
Okay, to answer the question; How Do You Know? Here we go!
*Disclaimer – if you are already married to this person then the answers to these questions would vary a bit … this is for the single person, not the married person!
1) If you are thinking to yourself; if I can just change this or that about him he’ll be perfect. Forget it! Walk away! He is not the one. You can not count on anyone changing for the better.
2) Any doubts or concerns about him are RED FLAGS to be considered and explored.
3) What do your friends think? Not that they always are right or would know, but it’s good to ask!
4) What does your family think? Not that they always are right or would know, but it’s good to ask!
5) What does your heart tell you? Typically we know down deep already and just want someone else to confirm it for us!
6) What does God say?
7) Does he draw you closer to God, or further from Him?
8) How is his reputation? A man is only as good as his reputation!
9) If you feel like you are settling, you are! Walk away!
10) Does he inspire you?
11) Does he think you walk on water? He should!
12) Does he drink too much? If he does, walk away.
13) Does he have a good job?
14) Does he have a dream?
15) Does he read? Personal development is very important!
16) Does he exercise? This is really important if you do exercise!
17) Who are his friends? This tells you a lot about the kind of person he is!
18) Is he honest?
19) Do you feel happy when around him?
20) Do you feel secure around him?
21) Do you feel safe around him?
22) Do you feel like the most important person in the world when you are around him?
23) Do you have similar interests, goals, values, plans? Yes, opposites can and do attract, but typically it’s opposites in personality types, etc. not complete and total opposites in all areas of life. Typically there are going to be some challenges if you are religious and they are not interested at all in religious things. There are exceptions, but generally these things are true.
24) Does he handle money well?
25) Is his apartment clean? What about his car? Of course if you are a slob this might not matter, but if you are a neat freak it will matter. And believe me if he is clean that doesn’t mean he is a good guy, it’s just means he likes things clean or that he just wants to keep up appearances that he has it al together, because he is a mess on the inside! Trust me; I know what I am talking about!
Getting any ONE of the questions wrong isn’t an automatic NOPE on someone, but they are things to consider!
I wish you love!
