Happy Couples

There is no "magic bullet" to being a happy couple ... or having a happy marriage. I believe it's many things working together ... primarily the 2 people in the relationship.

Here is what I tell couples who come into my office for pre-marital counseling.

1) Marriage is what YOU BOTH make it ... make it wonderful!

2) Love each other like crazy! Try to out LOVE one another!

Typically what we do, or at least want to do is KEEP SCORE! i.e. She didn't give me sex, so I am not going to talk to her. Or, He didn't talk to me, so I'm not going to give him sex.

That is what we call the cycle of doom! That only continues to feed the unhappiness!

3) Share your feelings RIGHT THEN.

Don't wait till there are 10 things that have piled up till you talk ... or rather BLOW UP! Now, this means that in the beginning of the marriage there will be many "talks" ... but better to have the talks, then having one person walk.

4) REPENT, and FORGIVE.

So important to be quick to repent (or say sorry) to your spouse when you have done something stupid. Jana has to do this to me all the time ... lol! Actually it's the other way around. But we do it! We say "sorry for ..." and what you should never say to them when they say, "That made me feel ..." is "you SHOULDN'T FEEL that way!" WRONG thing to say! I know this because I've said it ... many years ago... I have sense learned!

More NEXT WEEK!