Everyone fights. Even couples who are happy and have a healthy relationship. Frankly, if you don't fight with your partner that could be a warning sign that you are not communicating openly and honestly with each other.
I'll never forget a couple I had met a few years back who boasted, "We never fight." I ran into the wife at the mall the other day, and I guess I should say, "X-Wife" because they got divorced. And she admitted, "We didn't communicate!"
Fighting isn't a bad sign at all! Now, obviously HOW we fight makes a huge difference. I am not saying we should be throwing punches, or cursing at each other when we are fighting. But having a heated discussion is completely normal and even encouraged. You can't sweep stuff under the rug. Pull away the rug, dig deep and share openly and honestly. Get to the bottom of every issue.
Okay, let me get to the main point here ... so you fight, we all do. The important thing is that you come to a RESOLVE! You must always come to a resolve. Always! If you do not, then it's just like getting a splinter and not ever getting the splinter out. It stays in there and can be a constant irritating little booger, if not worse get infected.
HOW TO COME TO A RESOLVE?
Now this can be more challenging. We each have such different personalities, you must figure out what works for each of you as a couple. Let's say you, or your partner does not like to be wrong, ever. Ha ha! Then that means you feel you are right and unless your partner agrees with you, or you get your way then it's not resolved ... and that won't work!
To come to a resolve there must be wiggle room (give and take) for both you and your partner. I want five kids, you say two kids ... so we land on three kids. Make sense? See how that works?
When discussing an issue (fighting) make sure to be open, honest and vulnerable. Speak from the heart. Do not hold anything back. Now, you may not want to blast your partner with too much at once, BUT it is important to give that last 10%. I can not stress enough the importance of complete honesty! No secrets!
I wrote a lot of stuff here that was unnecessary really, ha ha ... but remember this one thing: When discussing an issue (fighting) make sure to always come to a resolve. Maybe you are wondering what a resolve is?
settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).
Coming to a Resolve doesn't mean you GET YOUR WAY and the other person gives in to your persuasion! It means you both feel good with the decision. As Stephen Covey has said, "Must come to a WIN WIN solution!" No one wins if one loses!