Do What You Love

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I know this is a popular saying, but it is so very true as well as key to living a happy and fulfilling life!

I realize that what many of us do for a "job" may not be, 'what we love,' but you can put your heart into something even if you don't 'love' it. Because what we do is a reflection of who we are, and not just what we 'do' but how we do what we do matters.

The Bible says that we should, "work as unto the Lord" which simply means that we shouldn't work only for our human boss, but the big boss, God! How would you work differently knowing that God is really your ultimate Boss? Would you be at work late? Would you do a half-axx job? Would you be wasting time on a social media site?

All that aside, whatever you do, "do it as unto the Lord" and see what joy you will begin to receive from a job well done. Take pride in what you do, no matter what it is, I promise you will feel better about yourself and your job!

Last nugget, make sure that whatever it is you really love, whether it's spending time with friends, riding bikes, taking a hike in the woods, reading, etc. Do it! Find time, make time! Life is way too short to not spend some time doing what you love to do! Do it while you can!

Hold On

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I can’t tell you how many times in life I have wanted to quit, especially when things got difficult. I had the surrender towel in hand, ready to toss into the ring, but down in the depth of my soul there was something or someone whispering, “Hold On!”

 

Life, if you’ve lived at all you know this, isn’t always easy! And sometimes it’s downright hard! And it doesn’t always make sense either, but yet it does make sense at times … crazy, I know!

 

I say that to only say, “Hold On!” Seriously, don’t quit! Your life matters way too much to quit! Don’t quit trying, don’t quit loving, don’t quit giving, don’t quit forgiving, and don’t quit living! Just hold on, it’s bound to get better!

Do Something Special

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Often, when we think of "giving something special" to the one we love we think of "buying" something. Of course, there is nothing wrong with buying something special! But, it's not necessary to do that to show your love and devotion to that special someone. Rather than “buying” something special you could “do” something special. I would gladly use your story, but you haven’t told me yet, so I will use mine.

 

My big gift to my wife this year, since times are tight, I detailed her car, cleaned and conditioned her leather seats! She’s thrilled!

 

So this Valentine’s Day, if times are tight, “DO SOMETHING SPECIAL” rather then “buying” something special. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Compatibility Questions

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Let’s be honest, relationships can be tough! I've been married to the same woman since 1994, and though we’ve been blessed (fortunate) to have a really good relationship, there have still been those times it’s a lot of work. But I can say, from the heart of my bottom, it’s worth the effort!

When we meet someone we are attracted to, we can often forget to really make an effort to get to know them, like really know them. Our attraction (feelings, passion) to (for) them sometimes overshadows taking an honest look at our compatibility with each other. We essentially love the idea of them, what we think we know, based on feelings alone. Not that strongfeelings are wrong, I had and still have strong feelings towards my wife, but I also took a long hard look at how compatible we were before I made all those life-long commitments at the altar (she did as well). Because neither of us wanted to ever get divorced!

The questions below are not going to guarantee a life-long happy marriage, there are many factors to that happening, but they sure will help you to take a real look at just how compatible you are to this person you just love so much.

The LOVE that every relationship must have is the COMMITTED-love, which is based on a DECISION to love, forever! A FEELING-love will not carry you through. I will say this though, usually when there is the COMMITTED-LOVE, feelings follow! Because when your feelings are attacked, threatened, or tempted … your COMMITMENT pulls you through, in spite of what you are feeling.

oTalk About Money

1. Am I a spender or saver – and what's my partner?

Are we comfortable spending money on the same things (such as organic food), or do we argue about money on dates or vacations? Another important premarital question about money: Will we have joint or separate accounts, and who will pay the bills?

2. Are we in debt?

What are our plans for getting out of debt, and do we have retirement goals? Have we taken a money management course for couples? Who's responsible for our financial investments?

oTalk About Physical Intimacy

3. Have we discussed our sexual health?

Do either of you have a STD, and are you taking measures to prevent it from spreading? Can you comfortably discuss your intimate body parts and functions? Here's a premarital question about body image: Does your weight or appearance affect your ability to be intimate – and can you be honest about that?

4. What do we know about our preferences for intimacy?

Have you talked about the preferred time of day for intimacy, number of times per week (or day), place, lights on or off, length of contact, foreplay, or how adventurous you want to be?

oTalk About Household Chores

5. Who cleans the bathroom, does the laundry, vacuums, and maintains the lawn/garden?

Who cooks the meals and does the dishes? A good premarital question that's not often discussed: Who buys the groceries and maintains the car? What will your division of labor look like, especially if you have kids?

6. What are our pet peeves?

Does it bother you if the toilet paper is on "upside down" or are you usually completely out altogether? Do you leave the cap off your toothbrush, the toilet seat up, or the fridge door open? A practical premarital question: Can you handle another person – even one you love – in "your space"?

oTalk About Children

7. Have we, individually and as a couple, decided whether we want children?

If so, have we considered how kids will affect our careers, lifestyle, recreation, privacy, social interests, money, and plans for the future? Figure this out before the wedding day.

8. What about infertility, unplanned pregnancies, or fostering or adopting?

Premarital discussion that build a healthy marriage need to include honest discussions about having children.

oDiscuss Your Careers

9. Are we both professionally established?

Should we both work full-time? Have we discussed whether one of us wants additional training, education, or experience? A typical premarital question: Can we afford changes in income, and does it mesh with our life goals as a married couple?

10. How do we deal with job stress?

Are we grumpy or emotionally unavailable because we bring our work home – or work from home? Is our health affected by job stress? A practical premarital question is: Do we carry pagers or cell phones; if we have shift work does that impact our personal lives?

oTalk About Religion

11. Are we both committed to a relationship with Christ? How

important is Faith, Religion, Church, God, Spirituality? Will we attend church? What denomination? Will we give financially (tithe)? How involved will we be?

12. Will you be okay to have a spouse who is uninterested in faith?

Would you go to church alone?

KC Date Ideas Under $25

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One of the most important things in a marriage (or any relationship) that is often forgotten not too long after the honeymoon is the whole ‘dating thing.’ I guess we feel that dating is something ‘single people’ do, not married people. It’s like the joke about single people having better sex than married couples, this ought not be!

 

I believe that whatever it took to capture the heart of your spouse is what will be needed to continue to capture their heart for the rest of your marriage. Never stop capturing the heart of the one you love!

 

I celebrate 19 years with my wife and I still call her on the phone and ask her out. I still send love letters to her through the mail (postal service, with a stamp and everything!). I still write her corny poems, I still leave notes on her car, notes on her mirror, gifts on her pillow. Why? I do this because I want to continue to capture her heart for the rest of our lives; it’s basically what I agreed to at the altar 19 years ago.

 

I’ve heard every excuse why people “can’t go on dates” … no money, no time, kids, etc. All lame excuses! Seriously! Come on, let’s be honest here, you have the time when something is important to you, and let’s face it, there’s enough money to do a little something, and kids can be duct-taped in a closet in the basement for a few hours. Ha ha! Okay, that was wrong, I do not recommend that … but it did make you giggle!

 

It’s true that we do what is important to us, so make ‘dating your spouse’ important to you, because the reality is that it is very important, even critical to your relationship.

 

Here are 10 simple date ideas for under $25 that can be done here in Kansas City:

 

None of these ideas is rocket science, and maybe you have even done them before, but have you done them recently? The key is not “doing something you’ve never done” but rather “doing it!” There is no reason you cannot do one of these a week, so you should be good for the next 10 weeks!

 

1)      Find a NEW restaurant that neither of you has been to before (i.e. FUD, Eden’s Alley, Blue Bird Café, or Pot Pie)



2)      Order your favorite carry-out dish and take it to your favorite park, spread out a blanket or find a park bench and enjoy.

3)      Look up a local winery and go for a wine-tasting, even buy a bottle to share later. And along those same lines, do a Boulevard Brewery tour.

4)      Find a cool little coffeehouse to grab a cup of coffee and share childhood memories. (i.e. Hi Hat, Little Freshie’s, Coffee Girls)



5)      Make a list of your life’s dreams and share with each other.

6)      Do a themed date. (i.e. dress up in 1950s clothes and go to Winstead’s for a milkshake)


7)      Go to a bookstore (only a few left in the city), grab a poetry book and pick a poem to read to each other.


8)      Look through a cookbook and find a yummy recipe, go purchase ingredients, come home and cook together, then share the meal. Make sure to dim the lights, play some classical music (or whatever music fits the dish) top off with candlelight.
 

9)      Go to Little Freshie’s down off 18th and Summit in Kansas City, Mo., and get one of the delicious treats along with a cup of coffee.

10)  Go to a heavily-wooded park and hike through the trails, find a make-out spot!

 

Plus ONE … 11) Dress up and go to Nelson-atkins Museum of Art (not on a Monday, they are closed!) and when you stop in front of a picture (or some piece of art) place your finger on your pursed lips and nod your head slowly, then tilt your head from one side to the other. People will think you are some art critic!
 
*This Article was published in EABrides.com magazine.