My First Marathon
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KANSAS CITY MARATHON
October 20, 2012
I have run maybe a total of 5 miles over the last 4 years, and that's combining all miles run. But I have always loved a challenge, so that is what has led me to start training for my first marathon at age 42. I am not really sure what is so exciting about running 26.2 miles! Maybe it's the little running shorts I will get to wear for the first time. The short I have made fun of people wearing for years, now I am going to be 'that guy!' Help me Jesus!
I have thought of running in a marathon on many occasions, but not seriously until I was having a cup of coffee with a friend from church and he mentioned planning to run in the Kansas City Marathon. I thought, "I could do that ... I should do that ... I will do that!" It took me a day to really make sure I could and would commit. (I like to under commit and over deliver.)
So today I woke up and thought, "I better start 'training' for this marathon if I am going to finish it."
TRAINING DAY ONE: I ran 2.0 Miles in just under 20 minutes! And I felt good, I could have gone another mile, I think. I know that that's slow ... but it's a start.
Blessed to Bless
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I realized this morning that God blesses us for many different reasons. Sometimes it may be for our own benefit or pleasure, but many more times I thinks it's so we can be a blessing to others. And let's just be straight here, sometimes we are obedient to what God is asking of us, sometimes we are not. So for every story I have for you where I have obeyed, I have another story when I missed it, so lest I be elevated in your eyes!
We live in a nice home, it's nice but modest ... there are smaller and there are bigger ... it's relative I suppose. It is a 4 bedroom, 3 1/2 baths, with a 2 car garage. We live in a neighborhood and our house is one of 5 models ... so every 5th house looks a lot like ours. I could spit from my porch and hit my next door neighbor's house, or come real close (I can spit pretty good!). We live less than a mile from where our kids go to school. We are blessed!
There have been times I thought we ought to downsize, "we don't need all this space" I'd grumble to my wife. But about that time we'd have a friend or family member who has hit a rough patch in life and we've been able to help them by giving them a place to stay along with moral support. Our 4th bedroom is currently refuge to a single mother and her two children. We are blessed to bless!
- Because God has blessed us with a house with a "Guest Room" we could help a family in need.
- Because God has blessed our marriage, we have been able to help others with their marriage.
- Because God has blessed us with health, we can work.
- Because God has blessed us with wisdom, we teach.
- Because God has blessed us with friends, we can be a friend.
- Because God has given us people to help us through the years, we now help others.
I have come to believe that whatever we have, or whatever we do, who we are, and whatever talent we may have been given is for the purpose of HELPING and SERVING others. Let's not live selfish small lives! Let's live like Jesus lived ... Matthew 20:28 "...just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Poisonous People
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I call them poisonous people, but I saw a book title recently that referred to these people as Toxic People. And it doesn't matter if you have mad people skills, all of us have problems dealing with poisonous people. And what really stinks about poisonous people is that they pollute, many times intentionally, other great relationships you might have and often cause havoc for those friendships too.
The good thing is that there are effective ways to deal with poisonous people. Being a Pastor I have had many opportunities to interact with these kinds of people and have, through trial and error, learned what works and what doesn't work when dealing with poisonous people.
1) STAY AWAY FROM POISONOUS PEOPLE
The best thing you can do really is to simply stay away from poisonous people. Avoid them all together. I know that sometimes that can be difficult because they are co-workers, church members, or even family. But you have always have a choice who you hang around!
It's really challenging to get out of a relationship with a poisonous person. They usually make you, or attemp to, feel bad or guilty for staying away. But again, this is why it's good to just stay away. It's so much easier to just not start a relationship, then it is to break it off. Make it easy on yourself.
2) BREAK UP WITH THE POISONOUS PERSON
The fact is you most likely have some poisonous people in your life. I know this is difficult, because I have had to "break up" with poisonous people over the years. They don't just walk away either, they like to poison others on their way out (this helps them to feel better about not being your friend if they can poison others to not be your friend too ... it's pure evil) again this is what they do because they are poisonous people. But just like getting poisonous food out of your system can be a little messy and uncomfortable, but wow it feels good once it's out! It's worth the temporary discomfort and mess!
3) SET BOUNDARIES
This is typically what you would do with family, since you can't always break up with them or seperate yourself from them totally. When you set boundaries you are simply making the rules for the relationships and proteecting yourself from being poisoned to death. And if they abide by the rules, whatever they may be - i.e. refusing to bail them out of trouble, not listening to them gossip or slander other people (cause this is what poisonous people do), etc.) This protects you from their negative toxic behavior.
4) MOVE ON
Poisonous people are very skilled at making people feel bad or guilty when they don't get who or what they want. Often the very thing they use to manipulate you is your own guilt. Don't be guilty! You are doing the right thing for you!
5) DON'T EVEN GET INTO IT WITH THEM
There have been those times I have tried to break up and they want to try an manipulate their way back into my life through guilt, fear, pain, sadness, and their favorite is playing the victim. They are always the one who was wronged, or hurt or mis-treated. They didn't deserve it, and especially didn't do anything wrong. They are the perfect poisonous person! You can't reason with these people, they live in their own little poisonous world that revolves around them and they don't know another way to live.
CONCLUSION:
Poisonous people are just that, poison! They are poisonous to organizations, friendships, marriages, and companies. And they are so easy to spot; they usually, no matter the situation, will have something negative to say about someone (that they no longer are friends with because that person broke up with them for the same reason you want to break up with them) - be it family, a friend, a co-worker, a spouse, a relative, a church member, or someone in leadership, etc. They are typically hateful, and bitter and often will try to mask that by being a do-gooder. They are the person who will often do good, but they do it to be seen! They want others to see their good deeds.
The good thing about life, and something you should always remember - the TRUTH always wins out, always! Sometimes it may take some time, but it does. Just walk in the LOVE of God and it all works out.
Pre-Marriage Questions
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QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS BEFORE
YOU SAY – “I DO!”
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Talk About Money
1. Am I a spender or saver – and what's my partner?
Are we comfortable spending money on the same things (such as organic food), or
do we argue about money on dates or vacations? Another important premarital
question about money: Will we have joint or separate accounts, and who will pay
the bills?2. Are we in debt? What are our plans for getting out of debt, and do we have retirement goals? Have we taken a money management course for couples? Who's responsible for our financial investments?
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Talk About Physical Intimacy
3. Have we discussed our sexual health? Do
either of you have a STD, and are you taking measures to prevent it from
spreading? Can you comfortably discuss your intimate body parts and functions?
Here's a premarital question about body image: Does your weight or appearance
affect your ability to be intimate – and can you be honest about that?4. What do we know about our preferences for intimacy? Have you talked about the preferred time of day for intimacy, number of times per week (or day), place, lights on or off, length of contact, foreplay, or how adventurous you want to be?
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Talk About Household Chores
5. Who cleans the bathroom, does the laundry, vacuums, and maintains
the lawn/garden? Who cooks the meals and does the dishes? A good
premarital question that's not often discussed: Who buys the groceries and
maintains the car? What will your division of labor look like, especially if
you have kids?6. What are our pet peeves? Does it bother you if the toilet paper is on "upside down" or are you usually completely out altogether? Do you leave the cap off your toothbrush, the toilet seat up, or the fridge door open? A practical premarital question: Can you handle another person – even one you love – in "your space"?
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Talk About Children
7. Have we, individually and as a couple, decided whether we want
children? If so, have we considered how kids will affect our
careers, lifestyle, recreation, privacy, social interests, money, and plans for
the future? Figure this out before the wedding day.8. What about infertility, unplanned pregnancies, or fostering or adopting? Premarital discussion that build a healthy marriage need to include honest discussions about having children.
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Discuss Your Careers
9. Are we both professionally established? Should
we both work full-time? Have we discussed whether one of us wants additional
training, education, or experience? A typical premarital question: Can we
afford changes in income, and does it mesh with our life goals as a married
couple?10. How do we deal with job stress? Are we grumpy or emotionally unavailable because we bring our work home – or work from home? Is our health affected by job stress? A practical premarital question is: Do we carry pagers or cell phones; if we have shift work does that impact our personal lives?
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Talk About Religion
11. Are we both committed to a relationship with Christ? How
important is Faith, Religion, Church, God, Spirituality? Will we attend church?
What denomination? Will we give financially (tithe)? How involved will we be? 12. Will you be okay to have a spouse who is uninterested in faith? Would you go to church alone?
