Nagging is Bad

nag¹

nag/

verb

1. 1.

   annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault-finding or continuous urging.

I met with a couple a few years back and the main issue they were having was that the husband was a nag. He was constantly finding fault in his wife. I know usually the woman gets labeled the nag, but we all know that men are just as bad as women when it comes to nagging.

Nagging is a relationship killer. Why? Because nagging your partner is like physically beating them, but it's just emotional abuse rather than physical. We all would come to the defense of someone who is being physically abused, and rightfully so, but the emotional abuse that comes from nagging is just as harmful and damaging to a relationship.


SIGNS YOU ARE A NAG


1) You find fault in your partner more than you praise them.

In my opinion there should be 90% praise, and maybe 10% fault finding in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is littered with praise, blessing, positive, high fives, laughs, good things, smiles, and happiness ... even in the midst of difficult situations.

Everyone wants to hear more about what they are doing right than what they are doing wrong.

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean you ignore real issues or concerns, but if you always have issues and concerns with your partner then you are a nag. I suggest you look for the things you love, rather than the things you don't.


2) You fight a lot.

Fighting is normal, and even good in a relationship. Though if you find that you are fighting most the time, something may be wrong.


3) You don't laugh very much.

Something is missing from a relationship where there aren't lot's of laughs. Life is tough and the one place you should have happiness is at home.


A LITTLE EXTRA FOOD FOR THOUGHT

One of the dangers in a relationship where there is constant nagging (fault finding) is that the person who is being nagged is longing for someone who will appreciate them as they are and will help to bring happiness to his/her life.

I've seen many partners walk away from a committed relationship because they were just tired of the emotional abuse. They just couldn't stand it one more day so they walked away, and felt liberated when they did. Again, it would be just like someone who was being physically abused walking away in to a life of freedom.

Everyone deserves to be loved, just the way they are, warts and all! So if you are single, don't dare marry someone you want to change or fix! That is not fair to them. You must love them, all of them, just exactly the way they are, period, and if you can't do that - walk away. If you are married (in a committed relationship) stop fault finding! Seriously! You are killing your partner little by little. Not only that, you are sucking their will to live - especially with you. Be the kind of partner that provides a place of peace, comfort, love, joy, calm, happiness, security, laughs, smiles and all the other happy vibes the world needs more of.