Enamored for Life

Photo by Pedro Ignacio Guridi

I was thinking today how important it is for a couple to never lose the "awe" that initially attracted them to each other. If you lose that, you are losing something that is important to the life and longevity of the relationship. 

I think even after years of marriage we should still be enamored by our partner, even impressed by them and with them. That feeling of "wow, he/she is mine" should only grow stronger and deeper with time. I truly believe the moment that ends is the day the relationship begins to die.

How do you create an enamored culture in your relationship?

An enamored culture starts with cultivating an environment where that "loving feeling" flows and grows freely in your thoughts, words and actions.

1) Remove negative thoughts about your partner.

Like with most things in life, it starts with a thought. Then that thought leads to what we say, believe and eventually do. So it's extremely important to think good thoughts about your partner. Of course if there are real issues, then those need to be addressed and resolved.

2) Speak positive words to your partner and about your partner.

I've never liked or agreed with people who speak badly about their partner with others. It's not only tacky, in my opinion, it's disrespectful. It's important to honor your partner in word, thought and deed. Again, if there is a real issue then seek professional help to get advice, not your friends or worse yet, your parents. 

3) Treat them like you would if you were enamored by them.

The key here is whether you feel like it or not, you do it. Love is a decision, so decide to treat them like you are enamored and the feeling will follow your action.

Disclaimer: I would assume you understand that I am not encouraging people to bury their heads in the sand and ignore or look over real issues. No way, no how! Real issues need to be addressed head on, and maybe even with the help of a professional counselor. But from my experience, many of the "issues" couples face are perspective and by making these simple adjustments in your own view of your partner will drastically change your relationship for the better.