So when your partner brings a complaint to you … here is what to do …
1) Ask QUESTIONS for better understanding.
DON’T: Belittle or criticize your partner for complaining.
2) Acknowledge the FEELINGS behind your partner’s complaint.
DON’T: Defend yourself.
This is very difficult to do, because we all want to defend ourselves, and “set the record straight!”
3) Take RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.
DON’T: Deny responsibility or flip it or spin it back on your partner.
4) Don’t RUN away.
DON’T: Run away, give up, withdraw and quit… fight through the fight … no pain no gain.
*Material Taken from Dr. John Gottman's book , 7 Principles for a Healthy Relationship!