4 Healthy Way to Respond to Complaints

When we are in a relationship there will be times we'll do things that hurt each other's feelings and we must communicate those things to our partner in a way they will truly hear you, as well as when they are communicating to us ... how we listen! HOW we communicate those things matters, as well as how we LISTEN to those complaints matters! This is an area most all of us struggle with getting right, but when we do, it can make these kinds of encounters go a lot better than they normally do.


So when your partner brings a complaint to you … here is what to do …


1)          Ask QUESTIONS for better understanding.


DON’T: Belittle or criticize your partner for complaining.



2)          Acknowledge the FEELINGS behind your partner’s complaint.


DON’T: Defend yourself.


This is very difficult to do, because we all want to defend ourselves, and “set the record straight!”



3)          Take RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.


DON’T: Deny responsibility or flip it or spin it back on your partner.



4)          Don’t RUN away.


DON’T: Run away, give up, withdraw and quit… fight through the fight … no pain no gain.

*Material Taken from Dr. John Gottman's book , 7 Principles for a Healthy Relationship!