The "Born Gay" Question

I get asked almost weekly what I think about Homosexuality. I am not sure if it's because I delivered a sermon a couple years back called "God Loves Gays" or just the fact that I am a religious figure (pastor) and people want to know what my perspective is ... either way I want to address just the most common question I am asked;

Q: Is Homosexuality a choice? Nature vs. Nurture.

Great question and that is the question I will address here ... not all the other issues that surround this subject ... so please DO NOT judge me for what I DO NOT say ... judge me on what I DO SAY! That would be the mature thing to do!

I do know this; I personally was born with an attraction to women. No one had to "nurture" me to find women attractive. And not having a constant father figure in my life till I was 7 years old didn't change or effect that attraction.

I have had people (I would say ignorant people, not to be mean, and not to say they are stupid, but to say they are not well informed on the subject of sexual orientation ... so they would do well to leave their thoughts to themselves) that say "they (gays) just need to make the choice to not be gay." Okay, that would be like someone telling me, "Timmy you need to just make the choice to not be heterosexual." I can't choose to NOT be attracted to women, that's ridiculous! I didn't ask to be attracted to women, no one had to coach me, or show me pictures or pray for me to be attracted to women ... it just came to me "naturally." It was my "nature" and it is considered "natural" in society and in scripture for a man to be attracted to a women, and a women to be attracted to a man. Herein lies the rub, or the issue... or the problem.

I have interviewed many homosexuals, my roommate in college was gay, I have several good friends who are gay ... and because of the circles I run in, each of the gay people I know are Christians.

Side note: If you think you can not be a Christian and be gay, you are just a fry short of a Happy Meal. Lest you forget, "we are all sinners ... we all fall short of God's glorious standard." Not a one of us "Christians" are living a normal 100% consecrated God-centered-life! Let's just be honest, shall we.

All the people I know who are gay did not chose to be gay. As a matter of fact, most of my friends who are gay said they would never have chosen this life! And a couple of them said they have prayed, and prayed, and prayed that God would make them attracted to the opposite sex... to no avail. Why won't God give them what they ask for? I wrestle with this for many of my close gay friends.

I hurt for those who are gay! It's a rough road, full of rejection and heartache and even loneliness for many.

For just a minute join me in a thought: Let's say for example sake that what was normal, or "what God intended" for the human race was for a man to be with another man, and a women to be with another women. Okay, work with me here ... this is the way God set it up. So, you are born with an attraction toward the opposite sex, but you are looked at like a freak, or a hetero, or whatever ... you were teased, made fun of, etc. (in all my interviews this run true for most all) ... and you were especially rejected by the religious community ... a sinner, the worst of them all. The church that you attended asks you to leave ... because you just aren't normal. Your friends (who are all jacked up too) reject you because of your feelings. Basically, your life sucks! And the worst treatment is coming from the "so called" Christians... and they say... "hey, just don't have those feelings!" So you go on living a lie, hiding, which drives you further into a lifestyle that you haven't had an opportunity to journey through with anyone to help you make sense of it all.

Okay, so; Nature or Nurture? I think both! And it's just not that simple. People who are born Heterosexual of course can think it's simple ... because they were BORN heterosexual... hello! Life is simple ... most everyone is like you! From what I have learned from the Homosexual community - it can be complicated!

I have met some gays who were abused, and therefor felt forced into a gay lifestyle (nurture) and others who knew they were gay from the age of 5 (nature)... and the "nurture" in the home was normal, mom and dad still married, Christian home, etc. etc.

Now, I will say this (if you are gay, PLEASE do not take offense to this ... I am just speaking my thoughts here) we all have choices to make with what we are given in life. It's not what we are born with that matters, it's what we do with what we are born with that matters. You must decide.

I have a good friend who is gay, knew he was gay from age 7, and he has chosen to live a life of celibacy. He tried to marry a women, but just couldn't go through with it because he didn't feel it was fair for him to be more attracted to men and he felt that his girlfriend deserved more than that ... so he broke it off for the sake of her heart.

Again, for those of you who think you can not be "born gay"; let me just help you think correctly here for a second ... I see this to be very possible, because you can be born physically different sexually ... what I mean is - you can be born with both male and female genitalia ... so why couldn't you be born emotionally or chemically or genetically male in a female body? Make sense?

Again, just my thoughts ... and people ask me, "are you gay affirming?" Nope! I am "People affirming ... gay or straight, rich or poor, fat or skinny, healthy or sick ... I love people... and you should to (if you are a Christian!)

John 13: 34-35 “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Now, you may have a different opinion than me, and I am totally fine with that. As I always say, UNITY not CONFORMITY. We can differ, and still be in fellowship. But if you reply to this post with anything HATEFUL or MEAN I will delete it and do a blog about you! LOL!