The Bible Covers it ALL

Have you ever wondered what the Bible has to say about obscure stuff? Well, wonder no longer... here you go...

1) I'm buying some new oxford shirts this fall. I was wondering what colors the stylish men are wearing these days?

The fashions of men are vapor, all vapor. You can no more catch the wind than predict what new color will be embraced by the editors of style magazines. Which is why I tell you truly: White is the ancient black. As it says in
  • Ecclesiastes 9:8 "Let your garments be always white." Heed these words.

2) What is the proper way to act at a dinner party?

  • Ecclesiastes 31:17 "Be the first to stop eating, for the sake of good manners".
  • Ecclesiastes 31:18 "If you are seated among many persons, do not reach out your hand before they do".

  • Ecclesiastes 31:21 "If you are overstuffed with food, get up in the middle of the meal, and you will have relief".

And make sure your host isn't cheap:

  • Proverbs 23:6-8 "Do not eat the food of a stingy man...for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost. 'Eat and drink,' he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten".

3) I'm in a happy marriage. But frankly, we're sort of in a rut bedroom-wise. Any tips on how to spice things up?

That question contains the answer: spice. Cinnamon, oil of myrrh, and aloe -- all are biblical ways to entice a mate to bed. Colored spreads of Egyptian linen also multiply the sexiness. And as for food, the Song of Solomon suggests:

  • Song of Solomon 2:5 "Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples; for I am sick with love".

Or else try honey. But keep it in moderation.

4) My boyfriend is the worst dancer in America. He looks like he's having a massive bilateral seizure. Do I tell him? Or just suck it up?

Sure, tell him. As long as you are prepared for your relationship to turn to dust. Let me share a story with you: When King David brought the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem, he did a wild dance of joy. So wild, in fact, his robes flew up and exposed his privates. His wife Michal was embarrassed and scolded him. As a result, she was punished with infertility.

So there it is... answers to questions we are all asking! ha! Have a great week!