I was checking the news for the day to just make sure I wasn't missing anything going on in our world and I came across this TOP story, Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith. Basically, there are letters she wrote that reveal a "crisis of faith" of sorts. Times she felt alone, all alone, no God, no Faith, and miserable.
Of course it grabbed me by the soul and I read. Wow! I have not even allowed time to process this "news", but I am thinking; How does this happen? How can I avoid it? Is it avoidable? Why?
These are all great questions we must ask ourselves. And I can only hypothesise to the reasons she faced these dark nights of the soul. But, I will tell you what has caused me to have dark nights of the soul.
1.) God led me there - just as the spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, I believe He leads us there for a purpose as well. Ultimately for my good, and my growth.
2.) I led myself there - I have made decisions that were bad, unfruitful, and dark. And the result is I strayed from the path God had for me. My choices! When I chose to speed (which I never do - ha ha!) I put myself in a situation to get a ticket! It's not always things I choose TO DO, but also in the things I chose NOT TO DO. For example, when I chose NOT to talk with God, and NOT read my Bible - I chose darkness. My mind becomes clouded, and when I stay fresh with my relationship with God it clears the fog.
3.) Evil led me there - Tempation. Just as David (in the Bible) was tempted to have an affair with Bathseiba, we are tempted to do bad. This leads to dark times.
4.) (Like #2) I chose to sacrifice when God has not asked me too (1 Samuel 15:22 "...Obedience is better than sacrifice...") I think sometimes we make assumptions about what it is to be holy, or a saint, or a believer, or a person of faith, or a Christian. Like in the movie, The DaVinci Code when Silas would punish himself for his sins by beating himself. I think we do this, honestly I do this sometimes. I don't beat myself, but a mildler type of beating. I make extreme sacrifices that God has not asked me to make, but I do it to punish myself, or make myself feel more holy.
Now, please understand I think we NEED to sacrifice much more than we do many times (especially in our spoiled rich culture), but we must always ask; is this something God is asking me to do, or is this me?
The fruit of sacrifice is death, but the Fruit of obedience is life.
For the complete Mother Teresa story go to: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.html