I Want to Look at Porn - pt 2

To live a “Secret Free Life” we must have what many people call “accountability”, I would agree, though that can be real superficial really. You have someone you call and say, “Hey I looked at porn”, then they say, “yea me too…” and that’s as far as it goes. No one is helping anyone. It’s really more of a “justification” partner if you ask me… you simply feel better knowing that you are not the only one messing up.

2 Corinthians 7:10 "For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death."

There are four things that really help me stay clean:

1) Having a few godly, trustworthy guys to be accountable to (guys that I keep no secrets from… they know everything there is to know about me)

2) Installing X3 Watch on all my computers (http://www.x3watch.com/) – it’s FREE!

3) Pouring myself into my relationship with my *wife. (fortunately I have a wife I keep no secrets from… she is actually one of my x3 Watch accountability partners) *Having a wonderful relationship with your spouse is definitely a huge plus… make it wonderful.

4) Lastly, and most importantly – I press forward in my relationship with God. May sound a little platitudinous, but it works for me.

If you do struggle with porn, tell someone you trust to help you overcome TODAY! Seriously, secrets will destroy you eventually.

I hope this has helped you… let me know.

I Want to Look at Porn - pt 1

Let's be honest here... most guys want to see women naked. There are always exceptions, but for the most part this is true. I have had conversations with pastors and church leaders in the last two weeks that confirm this fact. Not only is this confirmed in their conversations with people in their church, but it's a problem for them as well. There is a struggle going on, especially now that porn is so easily accessible and free. Many men would never darken the door or a strip club, or actually buy a porn magazine… but they will, and do, click on a forbidden picture. It’s scary!

I know most of you wish that it wasn’t so accessible, because that would help you, right? Or you have prayed and asked God to take away the desire? So, what do you do? Who do you tell? You can’t tell your wife because she’ll freak out and think you’re a pervert, or worse, she’ll feel less then enough… (And it is difficult to convince them that it doesn’t have anything to do with them)

So, how can you get free from this darkness? I am a firm believer in NO SECRETS! And when I say that, I really mean that! I’ve heard pastors, or church leaders say that before, but it meant nothing in real life... it was just the right thing to say... but was B.S.! (Which stands for Bologna Sandwich, of course!)

What does it mean to live a “Secret Free Life” really? Here is the good news, you can be free, I promise!

Check back tomorrow for; I want to look at porn – pt 2

Slander

The Bible clearly states that we “who call ourselves Christians” should not slander, or what I like to say is, “speak evil of anyone”.

Titus 3:1 “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.”

Q: What exactly is slander?

A: Well according to the Bible, and using my Vines Expository Dictionary of Greek and Hebrew Words; Slander is “finding faults in others, and then spreading that information to others.” Revelations 12:9-11 talks about the devil being a slanderer or an accuser of the brethren.

The unfortunate thing is I have actually heard “teachers/preachers” on the radio who claim to have a corner market on the truth of God’s word. They seem to be (self-acclaimed) the only ones who truly understand the mystery of God’s word, and they are the ones who can properly interpret it. They also slander other teachers (actually naming them!), claiming they are “exposing false teachers”… and the saddest part of all – people believe these slanderous teachers hook-line and sinker! This happened in Jesus day! Jesus was called a blasphemer by the religious crowd! They got Him wrong!

I am not saying I think everything taught by every teacher is right on, nor do I believe everything I read in every book I read… but isn’t that what makes life rich and diverse?

Plus, I give people the benefit of the doubt; I think people are smart enough to know when something is off-base. I just believe that most people are smart!

Unchristian

I read a lot of books, and I honestly like most the books I read, but this one, Unchristian by David Kinnaman is wonderfully insightful. It's been especially helpful for me as a pastor and even as a Christian!

I just started the book a week ago and would say that every pastor should most definately read it, like I would even say it should be required reading for pastors & for all church leaders. All the staff here at OLF are reading it!

In short, Unchristian is all about the perceptions people who are not Christians, and even those who are, have of us "Christians", and the reality is that "its true".

I will put it this way; if you want to truly be a better Christian, then you must read this book, period!

Enjoy!

Fill Your Mind

Luke 8:18a "Therefore consider carefully how you listen."

"Be careful what you listen to, because they become your thoughts, watch your thoughts for they become your words. Watch your words, for they become your actions."

After talking to someone for a few minutes I can tell the voices they listen to, typically. That is not always a bad thing, but it can be when they only listen to one-stream of teaching.

I would encourage you listen and read MANY streams of teaching... if you don't, then you will become unbalanced in your beliefs. I shouldn't have to say this, but I will; I of course don't mean read false doctrine stuff, or whacky stuff... hello! But, definately read stuff that is a stretch for you, or at least stuff that you may not fully agree with... this is what causes growth!

It's like working out, if I only push the weight I have always pushed I will not grow... I must put MORE weight than I am used to on the bar and do exercises I am not used to... this encourages growth!

Grow in God!

Open Theology

Saint John the Theologian

Theology is a term first used by Plato in The Republic (book ii, chap 18). The term is compounded from two Greek words theos (god) and logos (rational utterance). It has been defined as reasoned discourse about God or the gods, or more generally about religion or spirituality. The Greek word is literally translated as "to talk about God".

I am currently studying a book entitled, Christian Doctrine by Shirley C. Guthrie, Jr. It’s actually very good. Though normally I typically struggle through “deep theological textbooks” but this one is written very well. The author even throws in some humor & personality flair, which is normally absent from these types of books.

Here is a quote I just love that is in the first chapter; Who is A Theologian? “Theology deals with a God whose thoughts are not out thoughts and whose ways are not our ways (Isa. 55:8) Theologians (pastors, teachers, Christians) who are sure that they have all the answers to all questions and that their task is simply to convince others that this is so are bad theologians. They only prove that they know nothing at all of the majesty and mystery of the God who cannot be captured and mastered by any human system of thought…. You will learn more from genuine open debate than from total agreement.”

When I say “Open Theology” I do not mean open to believe anything and everything, but OPEN to discuss and allow for differences of opinion, interpretation and belief… and in the end being mature enough to say, “This is what I believe to be true, but I’ll know for sure when I get to heaven and can get clarification.”

Be open!

No Bad Decisions

Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."

I was thinking this morning about all the BAD DECISIONS I've made in my life, and all the good decsions I've made. What is the difference between the two?

And I would have to say that many, if not most, of my bad decisions we made because I did not seek counsel and the good decisions I made I had typically sought counsel from others.

Moral of the story: Before you make a major decision, or any decision that may have the potential to effect your life, seek counsel.

I am sure you, like me, have had many friends over the years make purchases, or make decisions that we could clearly see was not a good choice, and they later learned, but if they had just asked those around them they could have saved themselves much grief. We're all guilty, but why continue through life making unwise decisions?

Open, Honest Communication

Jana and I are in a series right now called, Growing a Healthy Marriage. I think it would be fair to say that it is our best marriage series ever. The content is fresh, impactful, and in-your- face-honest. To watch go to: www.vimeo.com/mercychurchkc

I truly believe that a marriage should be a safe place to share our most intimate stuff. The stuff that is deep in our hearts... even the crazy stuff we wish wasn't there. Our fears, our desires and our dreams.

I am seeing more and more lately how important it is for couples to have that freedom with their spouse... an "I can tell you anything, and you will still love me" type relationship.

Many times the husband or the wife has a growing resentment about "something" whatever it may be, and it can't be talked about... because everytime it is brought up it turns into a blow up, hurt feelings, tears, etc. So, the spouse ends up just "living with it" and resenting the spouse as a result. Which only drives them further and further a part... until one day they wonder, "what happened?"

Bottom line: You can have a wonderful marriage, if you and your spouse work at it!

One Lump of Sugar or Two?

Colossians 4:5-6
"Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don't miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out."

I was chatting with my wife this morning about the Christians who fear loving people right where they are because they feel you shouldn't "sugarcoat" the gospel message, or "the truth" as they put it.

Do these quotes sound eerily familiar?
"The truth hurts", "people shouldn't be comfortable in their sin", "I am just telling them what they need to hear... because I love them"... I will stop there, but you get my drift!

These kinds of "Christians" forget that the NUMBER ONE command of the ONE we are supposed to represent and imitate: Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself..." I also like what Stephen Covey said, "Seek to understand rather then to be understood".

Yet one more quote: "Its God's job to judge, my job to love, and the Holy Spirits job to convict" - Billy Graham

Childish

James Dobson, Obama, McCain, President bush, Vote, Elections, BrackI recently heard about a "Christian" talk show personality who said that if the presidential candidate that he was supporting wasn't nominated to represent his political party in the presidential race... he would not vote for the first time in X amount of years.

How childish is that! It reminds me of when my kids were 2 and 3 years old and we'd serve some dinner and they'd pout and say they weren't going to eat it because it wasn't pizza.

I must admit I am amazed daily at the antics of the ultra conservative right-wing "Christians" all in the name of God.

It reminds me of all the actors who said they'd move to Canada if Bush became president. Guess what, Bush became president and these actors are still here making movies.

Honestly, it just makes them look nutty.

It's crazy really... you talk to 5 different "Christians" and they'll each have a different candidate that "God told them to vote for"... is God confused? Is God undecided? Does He not know the future? Is God democrat or republican? (Personally I think he may be Independent, but I don't know (I chuckle!))

Listen, I am passionate about some major "issues" facing our country as well... but let's remember that the Bible says in Psalms 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases..."

Let's make sure we pray that the right person will get in office, whether it's who we "supported" or not. I don't claim to be a spiritual giant, but I just have faith in God, no matter what that it will all work out for the good.

And part of that coming true means; 1) I must do my part (vote and pray), 2) God must do His part (He will)... then all I can do is trust!

Happy voting!