Confessions of a Pastor – 4 of 10

Sometimes I feel __________________!

I think that sometimes people’s view of pastors or clergy is that they are so spiritual that they never have questions, doubts, fears or faults when it comes to things of faith. The reality is that WE DO! But what we do typically is HIDE our questions, doubts, fears and faults, “because we do not want to cause others to stumble”. But we’ve realized that doesn’t work because people have doubts anyway and feel especially “less than spiritual” when they think that they are the only ones with questions, doubts, fears and faults. The truth we all struggle at times. This is why I am a fan of authenticity.

I come from a background that encouraged “fake it till you make it”. And though in certain contexts I believe that we should “fake it till we make it” I do not think we should walk around acting down and out because it’s how we feel. There are times I am having a bad day, but I don’t pout all day long, I “fake it till I make it” … put a smile on my face, throw my shoulders back and take on the day.

There is a time and a place for opening ourselves up to be honest with how we are feeling and what we are going through. So, here are my confessions, like Elijah sometimes I __________.

1 Kings 19:3-4 “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life...”

1) Sometimes I feel DISCOURAGED. (Philippians 1:6)

2) Sometimes I’m in a BAD MOOD for no reason. (Psalms 42:11)

3) Sometimes I don’t want to FORGIVE others. (Matthew 6:14)

4) I am afraid to FAIL. (Psalm 73:26)

5) Sometimes I feel I am not GOOD enough. (Romans 10:3)

Confessions of a Pastor 3 of 10

Confession: Crazy things happen at our house too!

So this morning Jana comes to me and says, “Timmy can you check the breaker for the frig, it’s not working…” So, I run down to flip the breaker … all seems fine to me. I come back up stairs to see that the frig is still off. “Crazy” I think, “it’s only a few years old, how could it just stop working?” I begin to pull the frig away from the wall to make sure it’s plugged in … and as I am pulling it out a little furry creature comes crawling out twitching his nose. And I am thinking, “oh great Mr. Snuggles (Hamster’s name) has chewed the plug … or something underneath …” but then I think, “wait, how is he still alive if that's the case…?”

Sure enough the plug wire has been chewed and is exposed and sparking on the copper water supply tube … it’s a near disaster waiting to happen … its red hot … burning … “dear Lord” I think, “this could have been really bad … this could have started a fire and burned our house down … yikes”. Needless to say we could’ve had Fried Hamster for breakfast as well … we are still trying to figure out how Mr. Snuggles is still alive honestly! Either he had 120 volts of electricity shoot through him, killing him and Jesus raised him from the dead or Hamsters are immune to electric shock? I don’t know, but I’ve touched a bare live wire before and it shot a jolt of tingles through me that made my joints ache… wow!

All that said, we were thanking God that Mr. Snuggles didn’t go on to Heaven, and that our house didn’t catch fire and burn to the ground this morning.

Confessions of a Pastor 2 of 10

MY CONFESSION: Many Christians irritate me.

Yes, I am a pastor, and I am endeavoring to “lead people to a healthy relationship with Christ” NOT create bigoted, right-winged, narrow-minded, hateful, self-righteous, gossipy, grumbling, fake bumper sticker type Christians.

Unfortunately I run into too many of those types of Christians… and to be real honest … I do not hang out with those kinds of Christians. And to be fair, for every one of those I meet, I meet some really great genuine Christ followers. For example, our church (thank God) is full of the later … people, who are not perfect, but have a genuine heart for God, love people, are humble, real, honest, and seeking God’s best for their lives without judging everyone else.

When I look at the life and ministry of Jesus … even He preferred the company and companionship of the “sinner”. I totally understand why!

Years ago (maybe 10 years ago now) I was the type of Christian I now struggle to like. I only had Republican voting Christian friends who listened to Christian radio 24/7. I had no real relationships with anyone other than people who believed like me. I never invited anyone to church … unless it was someone who was already a "christian" and they were looking for a church. I lived in a Christian bubble, surrounded by others just like me. All the activities in my life revolved around everything church, church friends, church sports, church groups, church books, church everything … basically I had no life outside of church... I lived in a safe Christian bubble.

Now, incase someone is hearing something I am not saying here, let me clarify; I think it’s important and fine to surround ourselves with good people (often people from our church) and to be a part of a church community … hello, I encourage this in my church and I believe and teach that everyone on planet earth should attend church every Sunday morning and if you don't go to church something is amiss … BUT if that is ALL that there is to your life and you shut everyone else not like you out you limit your impact on the world around you, you are just POW WOWING with those who are already found (in your little bubble). Sometimes you’ve got to LEAVE THE 99!

Confessions of a Pastor 1 of 10

We kicked off our new September series called Confessions of a Pastor. I barrowed the title from Pastor Craig Groeschel’s book Confessions of a Pastor. He pastors a church in Edmond Oklahoma and although I’ve not read the book, the title grabbed me and it fit this series better than anything I could come up with, so there’s my confession on how I came up with the title.

I must admit, Sunday’s message was one of those Sundays that are like a bad game of Golf. You’re not sure why your swing isn’t swinging right, or what, but it’s just an off day … ever have days like that? … “I wasn’t on my ‘A’ game” as they say. Of course, wouldn’t you know it, after service I received several compliments and I just figured it was a way for people to console me, or they were in Kid’s Life and didn’t actually even hear the message at all … hence the reason they loved it so. Lol!

All that aside, I do think the content of Sunday’s message was great … the presenter (me) just didn’t present well (in my opinion!)

Okay, so we are talking about Confessions of a Pastor … my confessions this Sunday was that I have questions regarding God, the Bible, and Religion just like you do. Who goes to Heaven, who goes to Hell? Is there even a Heaven? Is there a Hell? What did Jesus mean exactly when He said “I am the way, the truth and the life no one comes to the father but through me.”?

We established Sunday that there must be a ruler for which we can measure truth. And that measure, in my opinion, is the Bible. I truly believe with all my heart that the Bible is the basis for understanding all of life (not every aspect of life, but the essence of it). Now, I am aware that there are truths found in many places, not just the Bible. Dah! But, the best place to find direction for our lives here on earth is the Bible.

I know there are some people who thinks that's B.S. (Bull Skunk - that's for you folks who thought I just used a profanity :), and to that person I would say, “I am cool with that ONLY IF you have researched it and after educating yourself on the subject you still feel this way”. The sad truth for those who BELIEVE and those who DO NOT BELIEVE is that sometimes they are simply “believing” something they know nothing about. Christians do this often; I was one of them for years! I believed because it was how I was raised, and how I was raised was right. So I thought. Then I began to read for myself, studying, researching … then I became convinced of the truth on my OWN ACCORD!

I’ve got so much more to say … so stay with me on this journey of discovering God through Confessions of a Pastor!

Crowded Out - 6 of 6

We are talking about "practices" to keep us from Crowding God Out of our lives. So here we are with #5 and the final in the series.

5) Prayer – This is often mis-understood, at least it was to me for many years as a Christian. I always heard stories growing up of saints of old who got up in the wee hours of the morning to earnestly seek the face of God in prayer. And I so wanted to be that “saint of old”. But I found it extremely difficult. Some Christians may think it’s my “lack of true spirituality”, or my “lack of true commitment”, or my being “too carnal”. Who knows, maybe their right?

I read a book back in the 90’s called, Could You Not Tarry One Hour by Larry Lea (he was a famous TV preacher and pastor of a huge church in Texas back in the 80’s 90’s era until he was exposed on Nightline NBC for fraudulent activities. I actually met him personally … he always looked so tall on TV, but he was a very little guy in person). So I read the book and began getting up every morning before school and praying for an hour through the Lord’s Prayer. Sometimes I would fall asleep and wake up an hour later… that’s when the prayer time flew by, but normally I struggled to even find the words to pray (which is where my Pentecostal roots came in handy… cause I could just pray in the spirit for a while).

This went on a couple years, maybe three and it became robotic, hallow, empty, ineffective and unproductive. Plus I found myself becoming self righteous because now “I got up in the wee hours of the mornings and prayed for a whole hour” I am super spiritual, actually I am more spiritual than most people because most people do not do that and I do, therefore I am better than they.

Then I actually heard a sermon early in 2000 that really impacted my spiritual life as it relates to prayer. It freed me from the heavy burden I had carried around about this “wee hours in the morning prayer” stuff and it gave me freedom to pray in a way that is real, fresh, and productive for me, for my spiritual journey. Here is a verse that I now understand …

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”

I had always wondered (with my previous views of prayer) how could I pray without ceasing and hold down a job without being fired. Now I know … pray is just “communicating” with God in whatever way best fits you, your personality, your style, your life, etc. And for me, I pretty much (not always) but pretty much am in an attitude of thoughtful prayers, reflections or meditations all the time. Please, don’t go thinking, “wow Timmy is so awesome!” Cause I’m not (well my wife and kids think I am, but don’t let them fool ya). I am just a regular guy who really loves Jesus and wants to see others find and connect with God in a way that is real and impact-ful for them.

So I challenge you to communicate with God in whatever way fit YOU best!

Crowded Out 5 of 6

We are talking about "practices" to keep us from Crowding God Out of our lives. So here we are with #4.

4) Volunteering – Just like giving money, giving of our time is just as important. God has given each of us talents, skills, or abilities that we should not only use to earn money in the marketplace, but I contend that those talents, skills and/or abilities are to be used to further God’s purposes here on the earth.

The church is 95% volunteer run. Take for example the church I pastor; we have 300 – 400 people who attend our Sunday service, 600 – 700 who call us their “home church” whatever that means (when a pastor gives his churches “membership” numbers … they are inflated… because you only get everyone who calls you their home church in your church on Easter and Christmas, unfortunately). Anyway, I’m not bitter. Lol!

Anyway, we have 3 fulltime paid staff, and 2 part-time paid staff. It takes 40 people to run a Sunday morning service, musicians, greeters, ushers, children’s workers, set up crew, sound crew, etc. And that is just the people who we need on hand on a Sunday, not to mention all the gifted people who volunteer by doing graphic design, web, and computer stuff during the week. If we didn’t have people giving their time we just simply couldn’t do it!

But all that said, that shouldn’t be the reason or motivation behind our giving of our time “because the church needs it” but the reason we should is because WE NEED IT! We as people tend to be very very selfish! And the best antidote for selfishness is to serve and give to others.

I have personally never met a depressed self-less person who was giving of their time for a greater cause! But I have met plenty of unhappy, depressed selfish people.

Give to your local church by volunteering your gifts, talents and or skills … you will be so glad you did!

Crowded Out 4 of 6

We are talking about "practices" to keep us from Crowding God Out of our lives. So here we are with #3.

3) Financial Contribution – Of course this is quit a controversial subject for many people… even Christians, yet this is something that God asks from us in the Old Testament and you find scriptural support for it’s practice in the New Testament!

Matthew 23:23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.”

Here Jesus is saying, hey you religious teachers, those of you who love God, you should practice JUSTICE, MERCY and FAITHFULNESS and also don’t neglect the other stuff you are doing i.e. giving a tenth.

People get bent out of shape when you talk about money, or giving to a church, or religious organization… and honestly this is just a reflection of either immaturity or having been jaded in the past. Personally I think it’s sad that people would rob God, and not want to give back to God through the local church … I mean God has giving us so much, it’s the least we can do. Jana and I have been giving 10 – 20% of our income since the day we got married, over 14 years ago now and don’t regret it one bit! It’s been difficult sometimes, especially lately as the gas prices have sky-rocketed, but it’s the right thing to do. And when we don’t give to our local church community we are simply missing out and our church community is missing out because let’s just be real honest here … it takes money to do any kind ministry. You can’t do any outreach like feeding the poor without money, and it takes money to keep lights on too. That’s just the truth … nothing good is happening in the world without money helping to make it happen! Period!

I challenge all of you who actually got this far without deleting … to give to your local church community whatever you can … whether it’s 5% or 10% or more, start this Sunday, and all I can tell you is that you will be blessed in doing it!

Crowded Out 3 of 6

We are talking about "practices" to keep us from Crowding God Out of our lives. So here we are with #2.

2) Read/Study the Bible – This is obvious I think, yet not so often practiced. Many people rely on Sunday service as their “spiritual food” for the week. I must be honest and say that is better then nothing, though getting some spiritual nourishment each and every day is helpful. There is nothing like feeding yourself spiritually… and learning the Bible, and what it means for our lives today. Now there are days I miss reading the Bible, I dare say I’ve even gone a week or two without cracking the Bible for personal devotion … and I missed it!

Psalms 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

We so often say we want God's direction in our life and miss reading the BOOK of DIRECTION for this life; The Bible.

Crowded Out - 2a of 6

If I could have said this any better I would have… this was emailed to me from a church member here ... enjoy!

Why I Go to Church?

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church? A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!"

Crowded Out 2 of 6

5 practices to keep us from crowding God out of our lives

1) Belonging to a church community – Now there are people who say, “You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian”. And of course the obvious answer is, yes of course you don’t have to go to church to be a Christian (as I slump my shoulders in frustration with people who say that). But it’s also true that to be a Christian and not belong to a church is counter intuitive. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian but if you are a person of faith then there is no doubt you would (should) belong to a church community. I am going to step out there and say something that may make some of you no longer read my blog, and I am okay with that … but being a Christian who doesn’t belong to a church community leaves room for being a little out there sometimes. Being in community is what helps us all stay balanced. Three people meeting in a “home church” can start getting a little weird and leave room for some squirrelly beliefs. In know this to be true because I have met them.

Also, Jesus is the one who founded the church ... now I understand not all churches are doing it like Jesus intended, but some are ... find one that is and belong there!

Hebrews 10:23-25 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."

Tomorrow ... 2)