But He Said He Would Change

I better say this first; YES, people can change but ...

This particular blog post is geared for people who are in the dating scene and are faced with a prospective "partner" decision. Here is what I ask singles all the time, "If the person you are dating were to be exactly like they are right now forever would you still marry them?" There's your answer on, "Should I marry this person?" It's naïve to think you are going to change someone.

I highly recommend that people never marry someone based on who they think they will become! Marry them based on who they are currently. (You could stop reading now and have the info you need!) I realize that if you are marrying someone right out of high school or college they are still growing in so many areas of life that they may change some, even a lot ... we all do. This is why it's usually a good idea to wait to be married until after college. Who someone is as a person for the most part will be who they will always be. Make sense? I know it's easy to believe the lies, "I promise to change!" Or to feel that you can change them. But you can't! They can only change if and when they are willing to change themselves. (And as a Christian I would add: They can only change when they are ready to allow God to work in their heart!)

Can people change? That's the question of the day, isn't it. I mean we all have people in our lives that need to change, and that we are hoping will change. And many times they themselves even know they need to change and want to change. But will they? Do they? Will they do what is necessary to change? Sometimes, but not always.  

As a person who believes in people and the power of transformation ... especially when God is involved, I want to believe that people can change, but will they?

Let me clarify here; I do believe that people can change! But to marry someone with the hope or expectation of them changing is not a good idea.

What has been your experience with this?