Suspicious

/

sus·pi·cious   /səˈspɪʃəs/
1.tending to cause or excite suspicion.
2.inclined to suspect, esp. inclined to suspect evil; distrustful: a suspicious tyrant.
3.full of or feeling suspicion.
4.expressing or indicating suspicion: a suspicious glance.

Have you ever met people who were suspicious of everyone and everything, even when there wasn't anything for them to be suspicious about? I am sure you have, I have. So, what about you; are you a suspicious person?

Suspicion is really distrust, and it's not a good trait to have. I've always taught, because my Dad taught me, "trust people until they break that trust." We can't base our trust on our past experiences. For example, if you had a bad experience with a Doctor (or whatever) you shouldn't be suspicious of every Doctor now!

I remember the scandal that came on the Catholic church because of some priests who were bad ... most everyone became suspicious of all priests after that, and even of the Catholic church. That was so unfortunate for all the wonderful Priests who were serving in the Catholic church at the time.

I would challenge you to trust, unless there is good reason (not just something in your head)to be suspicious about. And if you have suspicions then you should address those in a healhty God-honoring manner to get clarifty so you can trust.

Is Bigger Better?

/

There is this thing among pastors called, "Church Envy" and it's all about the bigger your church the better. And we all want a bigger church. And if I am honest I get caught in that trap way too often.

I think for the most part we pastors want our churches to be bigger for a lot of good (even God) reasons; more people to do God's work, more resources to help hurting people, more people means more people reached for God, on and on we go - all great reasons that are sincere and from a heart of love! I know, because those are my reason. But "does size matter?" I don't know, but I would say that it's not the size that matters but what your church does with what it has that matters most.

Of course I am saying this because my church isn't big, right? I hope I'm not "that guy" ... the guy who has a smaller church who's always dawgin on the "big church." I dislike when pastor do that ... always saying bad things about mega-churches, all because we don't have one and wish we did.

I guess I am writing this post just to say that it's okay to want your church to be bigger! What pastor if he/she is really honest wouldn't want that? A weird one, in my opinion. BUT, all that said, there is nothing wrong with a smaller church! I guess that's my main point here! You (pastor) should be content with what ever size church you have while continuing to pursue God's highest and best. Don't settle, keep pressing on, and pressing in to God's plan and purpose for your life and the church (people) you serve and get over the whole "church envy" deal.

I can only give you an example from my own life of having a medium-sized church (small church is less than 100, medium 100 - 300, large 400 - 999, mega 1000 plus) ... I am having the time of my life! I love it! But there was a time that I didn't. Why? Because all I focused on was what I didn't have rather than on what I did! I hope you do the same.

(*The church in the above picture is where I married my sweetheart in 1994)

The Work - Home Balance

/

I struggle with this whole Work-Home Balance. I am thankful to have a home office so I am around the house a lot, but I am also never far "away" from the office and it's easy to do a little work during family time.

I have had to create boundaries for myself. For example I shut it all down by 7pm (sometimes earlier, typically, unless I have a wedding) and commit that time to family. We each have to find that balance and make it work. We never want to get out-of-balance and be working our life away, or just spending all our time with family and setting ourselves up to go bankrupt.

One way to find the balance it to talk to your spouse! They'll tell ya, maybe they already have ... are you listening?

Disclaimer: There are seasons to work and home. For me personally being a pastor I am slammed busy during the spring time leading up to Easter (Lent Season) then also around fall Thanksgiving and Christmas (Advent Season,) but in the summer it's slow. So we take vacations in the summer, visit family in the summer, etc. So we are heavy on the family side during that time. Then comes the fall we buckle down for Back to School, Back to Church!

I made a commitment that I would not sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry, and it's a constant battle to keep that in check. I hope for you and your life you are doing the same. Because at the end of life who cares how much money you've made, or what business you've built if you have lost your family/children.

You can do both, and do both well! God bless!

Finding True Love

/

Everyone wants true love. Well I guess I can't say everyone since I don't know everyone, but chances are that most everyone does want true love. But the challenge is finding that special someone.

I have several friends right now in search of THE ONE. And they often ask me; "Timmy do you think there is someone out there for me?" My answer is always the same, "Yes, I believe actually there are several "the ones" out there but first you must become the 'right' person in order to meet the 'right' person." I also add that "God will bring several special someones across your path, then you must decide which ONE is the RIGHT one for you."

I truly believe this. Now I believe that God often does this through Dating Services, work, friends, church, and getting out, etc. I do not think you can stay locked up in your Apartment and Mr. or Miss Right will just knock on the door wearing a shirt that reads, "the RIGHT ONE!"

I believe when I was dating around in my 20's I met several wonderful girls who I could have chosen to marry, but the one I chose was the best one, and the one I felt had the qualities I was looking for in a life-long mate. I was not willing to compromise because I do not believe in divorce ... I wanted to marry til death us part. We are only 16 years into it and she has stayed with me, so we are good so far!

I guess my only advice is this:

1) Don't WORRY about it - if you are too worried about it, you become desperate and that's a bad vibe that will actually repel a possible candidate. Just live your life, do what you do, and TRUST GOD! He will take care of you!

2) Don't settle - Just don't do it! If he isn't the right one, then move on! I am telling ya, you will regret it if you settle!

3) Rest in the fact that there is someone out there for you - It's true!

May cupid find you!

Bad Relationship Warning Signs

/

Why would anyone want to be in a bad relationship for more than a day or two? I see people all the time staying in bad relationships for months and even years! I mean we all want to be in or have GOOD relationships, and it's frustrating, to say the least, when we are in a bad one (or many.)

It seems that we do not see the forest among the trees - meaning we overlook the "warning signs" of a bad relationship for many reason. One big reason is fear. Fear keeps us bound up, unable to make the changes necessary to either turn a bad relationship around or break it off with the person we are dating.

I have come up with just a few "warning signs" that let you know you are in a *bad relationship.

* I am referring to non-marriage relationships here ... if these warning signs are what you see in your marriage I recommend you seek counseling to work through the issues!

1) Extreme Jealously - When the person you are dating is crazy jealous, always checking up on you, calling you, texting you, emailing you, etc. Run, and run fast far away! If he/she gets freaked out when you talk to the opposite sex ... there is a problem.

2) Overly Controlling - when you feel this person is acting more like a parent then a friend, again, run away. If they want to know where you were, when you got there, when you left, and who you talked to while you were there. Run!

3) Friends and Family Avoidance - Ever seen the couple who starts dating and all of a sudden they pull away from family and friends into their own little world? I have, and it's called crazy! That spells trouble with a capital "T".

4) Rude or Disrespectful - if the person you are with is rude or disrespectful to others he/she will eventually be disrespectful to you. I always tell people to watch how he/she treat the waiter at the restaurant, it will tell you a lot about the person. If they are rude and are disrespectful then I would run away.

5) Super Critical - are they super critical of you, or others? If so, this could be a bad problem. Criticism squashes a person self-esteem and that is just what it would do to anyone in relationship with them.

6) No Moral Compass - do they seem to know right from wrong? If not, then this will pose a huge problem when they are faced with choices. They may very well, and most likely chose wrong.

7) God is not a priority - if God is a priority to you then I highly recommend you be in relationship with someone who shares that same priority.

8) Who they are is who they are - I fully believe that people can and do change! But YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TO DO IT! I have seen WAY TOO MANY people date someone thinking hoping and even praying that they'd be able to change them to only find out later, sometimes much later, that they could not. God can, and God may even use you in the process ... but don't be fooled, God can change them without you... you are not the savior - God is!

Thoughts, Ideas or Questions are welcome!

Your Life Matters

/

This is true whether you feel like it's true or not. I have to remind myself of that often.

Life can sometimes wear you down, frustrate you and even make you a little crazy. That's normal from time to time to feel that way, I'm pretty sure we all have those feelings (days) on occasion; some more than others. But the question is; What do we do about it?

Should we just roll around in that fog, or give into the fear, the depression? I don't think so ... I don't think that does us any good, and it definitely doesn't help those around us. Now, don't get me wrong - don't lie about it, or hide. Here is the best way I've learned to handle those feelings:

1) Seek COUNSEL - Talk to a trusted friend. Of course talk to God about it! You got to be careful here that you don't just seem like a whiner-complainer-always-down-and-outer ... no one likes to be around those people ... unless they are one of them. I think it's important to be honest about how you feel.

2) TALK positive - Some people are weird here, feeling that they must always say ONLY positive stuff. Those people annoy me, and I am a pretty positive guy. Sometimes it just seem fake, but I am willing to say that I am wrong in my judgment and that's just how they are ... God bless them. I do believe in the power of "positive talk" or what some call "positive confession." There is nothing worse than a "Negative talker," everything is always doom and gloom, end of the world as we know it type people. There is a balance here we should find. I do not believe in ignoring the issue and just making empty positive confessions, but when we are faced with negative emotions I encourage positive words to combat those emotions.

3) DO things that make you feel good - The opposite is true here as well; Don't do things that make you feel bad. This actually brings up an issue I teach on a lot and am passionate about and that is RIGHT LIVING. Nothing depresses us more than living wrong, doing wrong, living sinful lives. This, especially for a Christian, messes us up big time. I know when I have done wrong, told a lie, or looked at something I shouldn't have looked at, I feel terrible and I condemn myself, which I then feel even worse knowing that I have not measured up to God's standard.

4) KNOW that your life does matter - it doesn't matter how or what you feel. Know the truth: YOUR LIFE MATTERS! IT doesn't only matter to God (of course) but your life matters to those around you, and even those you don't know and haven't even met yet. Has anyone brought you comfort, joy, laughter, hope, love, a tear, passion, or forgiveness? Than tell them!

There are many voices out there today; our parent's voice, our boss' voice, our child's voice, our neighbor's voice, television's voice, computer's voice, pastor's voice, our friend's voice ... the voice that matters most is GOD'S VOICE and He doesn't make any mistakes; YOUR LIFE MATTERS!

Only White Republicans Go to Heaven

/

When did we become so ridiculously stupid as Christians to believe that only white, heterosexual, evangelical, republicans, who listen to Christian music (except the artists who sinned like Amy Grant, Sandy Patti and Michael English), who completely agree with everything James Dobson says, and have read the entire Left Behind Book series (and think it's anointed and inspired just like the Bible), and think that *Kirk Cameron is a good actor and finally those who have prayed the "Sinner's Prayer" are the only ones going to Heaven?

*Let's be honest here; if there was a show like American Idol for Actors, Kirk Cameron would be the guy they would have on one of the few first episodes. No offense, he is probably a super nice guy, I'm just sayin.

FYI - Jesus would NOT be *Republican or Democrat ... He would be a reformer, an activist, and probably be a registered Independent and if He lived in Kansas City He would attend Mercy Church. (Okay, so the last part is just a funny ... He would be in all the churches where He is being preached.)

*Furthermore, I have nothing against either party ... and I certainly feel we as Christians should be involved, have a voice, but when we start acting like "our" party (which is whatever one "we" are in, of course!) is "God's Party" then we are being a little stupid and off track.

John 3:16 "For God so LOVED THE WORLD that He gave His only Son that WHOSOEVER believes in HIM should NOT perish, but have everlasting LIFE."