Finding Your Purpose

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This is a question I am sure we all struggle with at times; what is my purpose ... why was I born? Great questions we should all seek answers to. And because I believe I have found and am doing the very thing I was put on this planet to do - I get asked, "how?" And I wish I had all the answers, I don't, but i do believe I have AN answer that at least get you headed in the right direction; start with God!

I know, so simple, so cliche ... throwing out the "God" card. But I truly believe this to be true, I mean if God is the creator of all life (including you) I would think that He would be able to help you ... wouldn't ya think?

I used to hear preachers say, "don't ask God to bless what you are doing, do what He is blessing" and there is some insight there, but it's kinda stupid too! I mean shouldn't we WANT God's blessing on the work of our hands? I think so! And YES, of course I want to do what God wants me to do ... but I think there is some creative freedoms in there as well.

Choices! I feel that God gives us the ability to make CHOICES, rather then always direct ORDERS ... maybe I am wrong, but that seems to fit more with the God I read in the Bible.

I know for me I felt called by God to be a minister (which is what it takes to endure) but I could have chosen to do something else, and could have had a good life. (I just there are some people reading this who disagree ... if so, then leave a comment ...I'd love to hear your opinion!) Now I do believe that being a minister was my primary calling; meaning that anything else would have be secondary. And this road has brought the most fulfillment to me.

So, there you go ... my random thoughts!

Bottom Line: If you want to know what you were BORN FOR ... ask God!

Selfish Spouse

First let me just say; all of us are selfish to some degree! And I do mean all of us.

I was talking to someone a few days back about marriage and how and why some marriages are so wonderful and others not so much ... or why couples seem to be so happy and in love while others - not so much?

And I began to reflect on the many conversations I've had with couples, whether happy or not happy and I remember hearing a common thread of what could be an real issue to WHY marriage fail.

Here is my thought (btw, haven't had time to formulate or think it through totally ... so it's rough draft ... raw material here): Selfishness is at the root.

So a couple I counseled with about a year ago was describing their troubled marriage to me and I could see clearly what was wrong; they were loving the other the way they wanted to be loved, rather than loving their spouse the way THEY wanted to be loved. Make sense?

For example; she was a fantastic homemaker, i.e. cooking, cleaning, caring for the children, she scrap-booked the kids every move, themed birthday parties, thoughtful gifts, etc. etc. And from the outside looking in you would think their home was just perfect. But that's just it, the husband loved all that his wife was doing with the home and with the kids, and the wonderful meals she would prepare for him when he came home from work, but Sex was very infrequent. And that is what he wanted most. More than hot meals after work, more then fresh organic fruit smoothies in the morning before work, more than little special note cards slipped in his briefcase. He wanted intimacy ... specially sex. And she was giving him everything, but that, and that is what he wanted more than anything else.

I have seen the opposite; the husband is working hard to make lots of money for his family. He is a caring loving father, attending every game their son played, etc. etc. But he was neglecting to give his wife what she really wanted ... time with him.

So, all that said if you are married why don't you ask your spouse WHAT DO YOU want from me in our relationship? What is the best way I can say (show) I love you? Then do that!

Having a wonderful happy marriage isn't about EVERYTHING being PERFECT, but it is a lot about GIVING YOUR SPOUSE what they WANT and NEED, not just what you want to give and THINK they need.

DISCLAIMER: I am not talking about crazy unrealistic expectations here! Like a wife that wants her husband to make millions of dollars, yet wants him home all the time ... can't have both in the real world! You just have to decide what is MOST important, then be happy about it!

For me personally there are several things that are important to me, but one of them trumps them all ... and as long as that's going good I don't care all that much about the others. So know your spouses "love language" and speak to him/her in that language so he/she can understand what you are saying!

God bless!

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday, in the Western Christian calendar, is the first day of Lent and occurs forty days (not counting Sundays) before Easter. It is a moveable fast, falling on a different date each year because it is dependent on the date of Easter. It can occur as early as 4 February or as late as 10 March.

Ash Wednesday derives its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of adherents as a sign of repentance. The ashes used are typically gathered after the Palm Crosses from the previous year's Palm Sunday are burned. In the liturgical practice of some churches, the ashes are mixed with the Oil of the Catechumens (one of the sacred oils used to anoint those about to be baptized), though some churches use ordinary oil. This paste is used by the minister who presides at the service to make the sign of the cross, first upon his or her own forehead and then on those of congregants. The minister administering ashes recites the words: "Remember (O man) that you are dust, and to dust you shall return", "Repent, and believe the Gospel," or "Turn away from sin, and be faithful to the Gospel."

Lent is also a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline.

Not all Christian churches observe Ash Wednesday or Lent. They are mostly observed by the Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian and Anglican denominations, and also by Roman Catholics. Eastern Orthodox churches observe Lent or Great Lent, during the 6 weeks or 40 days preceding Palm Sunday with fasting continuing during the Holy Week of Easter. Lent for Eastern Orthodox churches begin on Monday and Ash Wednesday is not observed.

The Bible does not mention Ash Wednesday or the custom of Lent, however, the practice of repentance and mourning in ashes is found in 2 Samuel 13:19; Esther 4:1; Job 2:8; Daniel 9:3; and Matthew 11:21.

MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS

I was not raised in a church culture that formally observed Lent Season. But over the last 5 years or so I have come to appreciate it to be a meaningful time to reflect on my own spirituality. I do use the Lent season as a time for concentrated prayers, fasting, and repentance and I would encourage you to do the same. Start TODAY! Or you can do as I do; take a week, ten days, or 21 days within the forty days to really focus on your relationship with God.

SNL at Mercy Church

Church Planting 201

IMPORTANT PIECES TO THE PUZZLE
There are a million things that affect church growth, and honestly you can have all these things in place and not get the same results as someone else may get; it’s unexplainable... yet they are important! (make sense of that? Lol!)

1) Solid Biblical Teaching – this is obvious since we are leading a “church” for Pete’s sake, but it’s very important to really be teaching life-changing & hope-filled principles from the Bible. And just what method you use is up to you. You can be a seeker-style church, or even a more churchy-style church … they all seem to have their nitch and it works for them.

2) Passionate Worship – To only have music for entertainment is missing it ... my opinion.

3) Solid Kid’s Ministry – There is no future without children's ministry.

4) Assimilation – Getting plugged into your church ... keeping guests.

5) Discipleship – Growing people.

6) Prayer – Without God's blessing on your church, forget it!

7) A Real Heart for People – Can't fake this!

8) Leadership – Leaders lead.

9) Community – whether this is small groups, sunday school classes or whatever you use to help build community and initiate spiritual growth.

10) Fun – If you aren't having fun, that stinks!

Church Planting 101

10 Things I've Learned About Church Planting in 7 Years

1) Things don't always goes as planned; sometimes they go better, sometimes worse.

2) You better have a proper (biblical) definition of success, because if you don't you may feel like a failure at times.

3) Don't compare yourself to the rare few awesome church plants that went from 4 people in the basement of the pastor's house to 10,000 people in 90 days. These are special cases, rare cases that can not be explained and often can not be duplicated. A special act of God that we should be thrilled by! You can still do something super extraordinary!

4) Manage your relationships well.

5) Always put spouse and kids first (of course after God.)

6) Love the people God sends your way like crazy.

7) Make sure you don't lose your relationship with God while doing His work.

8) Be who God made YOU to be. Too many pastors, especially church planters, just copy the successful pastors.

9) Chose your close friends wisely; it's not just for anyone and everyone.

10) LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. There are 3 parts to the whole "location" issue; A) Who is there? B) What Churches are there? C) Are you bringing something unique to the area?

IMPORTANT PIECES TO HAVE IN PLACE
...to be continued

The Year of Living Biblically

If I was asked (which I wasn't) to write a "praise for The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs" I would say this:

"The Year of Living Biblically is a facinating read for any student of religion or curious agnostic. A.J. Jacobs does a splendid job of melting himself into religious faith, while keeping a skeptical (writer's) eye open to report his experiences with more kindness and grace I have experience in my 20 years as a minister in the church. A must read, one of my new favorites!"

All that said, I do recommend you read this book ... I think A.J. gives a great perspective on "us" Christians and people of religious faith that can help us better understand not only ourselves but the people and the world around us.

I found myself laughing out loud about every 5 pages, like belly laughing at his witty comments about various things ... you'll just need to read it to laugh for yourself.

THE GREATEST PART OF THE BOOK

If I read the entire book for only one thing, the thing I found on page 327, then it's worth the read; A.J. Jacobs refers to this thing called "Cafeteria Christianity" ... again, just get the book and read it. But it is very profound and so true.

I hope that by reading The Year of Living Biblically will inspire you to be more gracious towards others and their spiritual journey and more compassionate in our relationship with God.

Order Book Here: The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs

I Get To ...

I was just thinking today how "lucky" or some would say "blessed" I am!

I GET TO ...

... wake up every morning and make breakfast for the coolest kids ever ... mine!
... sleep in a warm bed with a beautiful woman!
... work with friends!
... pastor the greatest church in all the known world!
... serve with the most wonderful people in the galaxy (at least our Galaxy)!
... live in a country where I can worship God freely!
... walk ... see ... hear ... smell...

When I actually begin looking at my life in light of the rest of the world, I have all the reasons in the world to be THANKFUL and GRATEFUL ... and I am!

Hanky Panky Challenge - DAY THREE

It's so much more challenging to "connect everyday with your spouse" when you are so busy! Have you noticed that? Between running kids to practice, science fairs, vocal practice, friends houses, and work ... where do you find the time?

This is why we offer the Hanky Panky Challenge; connecting each and everyday with your spouse isn't going to just happen ... it must be intentional! Something we PLAN, and then EXECUTE!

Here is my two-cents on how to make sure you are connecting each and everyday:

1) REMOVE excess from your day - TV time, facebook time, youtube time, etc. Each of those things are not bad in and of themselves, but when they take away from things that are more important, then it's a problem.

2) REPLACE wasted time with spouse time - Every couple must figure a way that works for them ... we are all different, there is no cookie-cutter approach to building strong relationships. We have a rule at our house; no computer stuff after 7PM ... it's family time from 7PM to 9PM. And we abide by that, then after we tuck the kids in bed we have time to talk (or whatever we want to do!)

3) PUT it in the calendar - put that special "connection" time in your calendar and do not let anything get in the way of that connection.

I hope that helps you ... please do share with us how the Hanky Panky Challenge is going for you and your spouse! God bless and Happy Hanky Panky!

www.hankypankychallenge.com

Hanky Panky Challenge - DAY ONE