10th Anniversary Hanky Panky Challenge

The Hanky Panky Challenge is for those who are in a committed relationship to help them create, daily, moments of intimacy. What I refer to as “Hanky Panky” every day for the entire month of February (28 Days). Now, I looked up the definition of “hanky panky” and it was not the definition I was hoping for … so I thought I should give you my definition of "hanky panky".


Here is what I have learned over the years of issuing this "Hanky Panky Challenge" to couples. For the guys it means one thing, and for the girls it’s another, so let this blog be your guide to what it is supposed to mean to both.

I am encouraging those in a committed relationship to take the month of February and focus on their relationship by creating moments of intentional intimacy “hanky panky” with each other every day, a total of 28 days. Let’s be honest, it's a challenge in itself just taking the time to connect every day! Hanky Panky is really about making your relationship a priority, not an afterthought. So whether you connect purely for physical intimacy (intercourse - hopefully no diagrams are needed here) which most dudes are probably hoping for, OR lots of other relationship building activities, such as, but not limited to:

1.     Kissing.
2.     Touching.
3.     Tickling.
4.     Massages.
5.     Foot rubs.
6.     Bubble baths together.
7.     Listening to Kenny-G or Usher, etc. (whichever you prefer!)
8.     Washing each other’s hair.
9.     Comb each other’s hair. (If you like that!)
10. Pillow talk.
11. Praying together.
12. Read romantic book.
13. Watch Dr. Phil – sorry, just kidding!
14. Watching a romantic movie. (not Texas Chainsaw, ESPN, or Sports Center!)
15. Cooking dinner together. (Tip: Dude, wash the dishes!)
16. Long talks.
17. Long walks.
18. Write a meaningful note to one another and read out loud.
19. Write a song and sing to each other.
20. Share a bottle of *Wine while talking (Do this naked, and don’t touch for an hour, so fun!)(*Tea, Coffee or whatever is good to you!)
21. Go on a romantic date. (Do what you did to capture her heart, and do those things again to keep her heart)

Side Note: Many times this is what I see missing in people's relationship; everything that I have mentioned above is forgotten or even completely absent after a year or so of being together (I find this especially true in marriages.) Simply, we take each other for granted, we are too busy (or we feel we are too busy) to make real time for building and working on our relationship. Yet when I talk to couples about their schedule I see that there are many opportunities in their “busy schedule” for intimacy, but it’s filled up with TV, Sports, Hobbies, Kids stuff, friends, facebook, and just a lot of busy-stuff.

Another side note that goes along with the 1st Side Note: I have had couple after couple confess to me that they have not taken a vacation in years, if ever. That is just wrong. There is no excuse for that! The typical excuse I hear is, “we don’t have the money.” And while I can appreciate and even sympathize with that sentiment, its total crap. Really! Of course they say this while sipping their $5 Pumpkin-spice Latte! Here is why I know it’s crap; we aren’t big income earners and yet we go on vacation every year since we married 20 years ago. When we first married we were poor (poor in the sense of having little or no money at the end of each month – our combined monthly income as $1,500 a month!) And we still made it a priority to take a week-long vacation. It was and is a commitment we make every year, and it’s nonnegotiable.

The second excuse I hear, “we have small kids … they don’t travel well, etc!” This one really makes me laugh, because that tells me who rules the roost in their home – the kids! We were told when we had our first child, “Don’t let your kids run your life, you run their life! They will adapt to your-alls life.” That was and is great wisdom. Our kids have been going to the beach since birth, they love it, and they love the family time too. We are making memories with our kids and each other. I can promise you this; you will not get to the end of your life and wish, “man I wish we wouldn’t have taken those family vacations! We should have just spent that money on Pumpkin-spice lattes!”  

So there it is, the Hanky Panky Challenge ... a Challenge that will lead to a better relationship! I hope you take the challenge and commit to making your relationship a priority for the entire month of February. Comment here on this post or on my facebook.com/timmygibson or facebook.com/mercychurchkc follow on twitter @TimmyKC... oh yea, by the way ... I promise at the end of the 28 days your relationship will be better!

Happy Hanky Panky!