Pervert? Or Just a Guy? (2 of 4)

I know there are other nasty kinds of porn out there that are just completely disgusting and the people who produce it and even those who watch it should be put in prison (or at least punched in the throat, and maybe a kick to the groin,) i.e. child porn, animal porn, any abusive porn, rape porn, incest porn, gang bang porn, any porn that is degrading to women, etc. If your man is into any of that crap I would say, “Yes, he is a pervert and needs help!”

 “My man likes to be kinky, is that okay?”

I am not sure just what your definition of “kinky” is? I think it means different things to different people, but most guys, and girls too, are not happy with having sex in the missionary position only. (This is referring to the sexual position of man on top) Some people would think that “oral sex” is kinky. Some people feel that anything not under the covers, in the dark to be “kinky.” So this is a tough question! I think that “Kinky” can be good (long pause) as long as it is between you and your spouse only! And no one is being forced to do anything they don’t want to do. I believe anything that is forced on someone who is unwilling is completely wrong! And anyone who finds pleasure in that has issues that need counseling!  I also think there should be no other people involved. I know that this is most every guy’s dream (a threesome (2 girls, 1 guy) and though I understand this desire, I feel that it is not good. I have counseled many couples over the years who have experimented with this kind of stuff and it only brought pain and confusion into their relationship. And many of those same couples ended up getting divorced.

I do not find anything wrong with sex toys, if you and your partner agree to it! Obviously I think that you should explore a variety of sexual positions. Oral sex is good. Dressing up is fun. I think couples should have fun in the bedroom, or kitchen, or living room, or wherever. Keep it interesting, keep it fun, keep it fulfilling, but keep it sweet. Nothing wrong with passionate, even rough sex, again, as long as no one is getting intentionally hurt. You do not ever want your sexual relationship with your partner to become stale, boring or predictable.

I have received many questions from people who are in to S&M. Here is what Wikipedia says: 

Sadomasochism is the giving and/or receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain orhumiliation. A subset of BDSM, practitioners of sadomasochism usually seek out sexual gratification from these acts, but often seek out other forms of pleasure as well. While the terms sadist and masochist specifically refer to one who either enjoys giving pain (sadist), or one who enjoys receiving pain (masochist), many practitioners of sadomasochism describe themselves as at least somewhat of a switch, or someone who can receive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain.

I’m sorry; I just feel this is off. A little slap on the tosh is one thing, but really … inflicting pain?! Humiliating someone?! Receiving pain?! Obviously a person who is in to this is going to say, “Timmy it’s not your thing, and that is why you don’t agree with it!” And that can’t be further from the truth! Cause if Jesus said, “Timmy it is my will for you to have 12 wives!” I would be genuinely thrilled to fulfill the will of God for my life! Believe me, there are things that “I would be in to” if I felt that they were good, honorable and pleasing to God and others!


Tomorrow's Teaser: "How often should I be having sex?" and the big "M" question:"Is it okay to Masturbate?"